Why We Do What We Do (or How To Be Present)

Sometimes we do things that are about as useful as sticking a square peg in a round hole. We can deal with it like this…

Have you ever stopped to think why we do the things we do?

Why do we wake up at a certain time every morning?

Why do we go to bed at a certain time?

Why do we have to watch a certain TV show?

Why do we eat what we eat?

Why do we drink what we drink?

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately because of being socially unacceptable and quitting the beast.

A little while after I stopped drinking I went out to karaoke. If you’re anything like me, or most people for that matter, you can’t sing exceptionally well. :)

To get up in front of people and not sing well isn’t an easy task. So a few beers to “calm the nerves” is industry standard in these cases.

I hate the industry. And I don’t like their standards.

I didn’t fully realize how influenced I was in social situations until I couldn’t fall back on that crutch.

This particular karaoke night, because of The Iron Mind, it was a breeze. I got up on stage, did Stray Cat Strut by the Stray Cats, and it was all good. I was nervous and didn’t have any stage presence, but that’s OK.

(Remind me to post the video of me absolutely bombing on Jump by Kris Kross at karaoke in Sydney.)

A lot of our damaging actions are the result of following the crowd.

I was probably the lone participant to get on stage without liquid courage and that made me happy.

Being Present

It’s not always particularly easy to take control in these situations. But you can begin by being present. That is, be conscious of why you’re doing what you’re doing.

A trap a lot of us get caught in is sitting down to watch TV because “there’s nothing else to do.” Nothing’s on so we flip through the channels. It’s basically sleeping with our eyes open and our fingers moving. If that’s the goal, cool. But if not, why not actively decide to do something productive?

That something productive can be anything. Personally, I feel most productive when I do something that absolutely enthralls me to the core.

The very reason I canceled cable TV in 2006 was because when I felt I had nothing to do I’d sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and burn through an hour or two (or more!) without even realizing it.

When I stopped to think about it I came to the conclusion that there was absolutely nothing on TV that enriched my life in any way.

– The news is absolutely useless.

– I’d rather visit a place than watch it on Discovery Channel.

– I’d rather cook food myself than watch shows about cooking food.

I called up Brighthouse Networks, canceled my cable, and haven’t missed it since.

My wallet’s pretty happy with the extra $80/month that magically appeared. $80/month x 12 months = $960! That’s a plane ticket to almost anywhere. :)

These days I have a standing goal of writing at least 1,000 words/day. All of my articles start from these 1,000+ words.

But sometimes I just don’t feel like writing.

I’d rather watch YouTube videos or something that takes no actual brain function. Can you relate?

Not there isn’t a time and place for being unproductive (there is), but if there’s work to be done there’s work to be done!

Instead of wasting time on YouTube I actively decide to write…anything. I usually have quite a few topic ideas saved. If I don’t have any coherent thoughts on those ideas I’ll open a blank document and write about whatever comes to mind.

It usually starts horribly, but after a few minutes of painful stressing and straining the words start flowing, I start enjoying myself, 2 hours fly by and I have 1,753 words written.

The first few hundred words will probably have to be deleted, but if I didn’t have those incoherent ramblings I’d never have a finished article.

It would be a lot easier to watch YouTube than have to write useless drivel. It also wouldn’t lead to anything I could be proud of.

Even if I never release the article to the public I can be proud of the fact that I took control and did something productive.

3 Simple Steps To Take Control and Be Present:

1) Pay attention to when you’re going through the motions and why you’re going through those motions. It will take some practice to actually catch yourself going through the motions.

2) Think about if going through that motion is what you want to do. Do you have a compelling reason to do what you’re doing?

3) If you have a compelling reason keep at it. You’re on the right track. If you don’t have a compelling reason what productive activity can you do immediately that will take you away from the unproductive activity?

When you break things down to small steps it makes it easier.

Our social conditioning may influence what we do, but we can condition ourselves to do something bad ass no matter the outside forces at play.

I Spent A Night In Jail + L.A. meetup soon!

It finally happened. Locked up in a foreign land…

Last week I spent a night in an old prison. It was known as Addington Prison, and was in operation until 1999. They (people? government?) decided they didn’t want a prison within the Christchurch city limits anymore so it was shut down.

It was purchased by a couple of enterprising people in 2006, renovated, and turned into a hostel!

Although I’m not a huge fan of hostels (I’d rather CouchSurf, but it’s not practical when I’m constantly on the move in NZ), I do my best to seek out the interesting gems. I’ve mostly sought out old, historic buildings or tiny independent hostels. This is my first prison. :)

The cost for a single room was just $49NZD, which is roughly $35 USD. The biggest downside is this place is about 2.5km from the city centre.

If you’re so inclined, I made a video (didn’t edit, so it’s kinda long and boring):

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I booked my ticket to India. I’m flying Business Class (free with AAdvantage miles) from DTW (Detroit) to BOM (Mumbai). I think I’ll hang in Mumbai for a few days (or more) before I head off to Goa and learn to build guitars! :)

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L.A. area meetup Saturday Dec 12 with @ealvarezgibson and other wonderful people. You in? I’m not sure the exact location yet. I’m CouchSurfing in Santa Monica so maybe we’ll make it somewhere over there. :)

It’s strange to think I’ll be back in the US in less than a week. I fly out of Auckland at 7 pm Dec 10 and arrive in LA at 10am Dec 10. That’s what we call a mindfu…nevermind. ;)

Later on the 10th hopefully I’ll go to the Jimmy Kimmel show (if they approve my ticket request!). Also, Conan O’brien’s people? Can you please approve my ticket request for Monday Dec 14? Thanks. I have watched Conan since like 10th grade. Hook it up!

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Are you participating in Ridiculously Extraordinary Challenge #1? Quit Drinking For 30 Days

If so, let me know how it’s going after 10 days. :) I got a lot of great private e-mails (as well as lots of awesome public comments!) thanking me for the article. It feels so good that it connected with you.

Mind Control For Fun and Profit! (or How To Brainwash Yourself)

I have a secret to share with you. Click here to find out what it is…

How would you like to be able to condition someone to do anything?

I have a secret to share and I want to apologize for not telling you sooner.

I’m a long time student of mind control.

I’ve been using it selfishly for far too long and I think it’s about time I shared my top secret technique with you and the rest of the world.

Before you get any ideas…

The mind I control is my own. You too can control your mind to magically force yourself to accomplish things you previously thought impossible.

The problem with a lot of people not reaching their goals is they haven’t properly brainwashed themselves.

This isn’t just about positive thoughts and affirmations or writing down your goals.

While that stuff is all well and good it doesn’t produce results like my Mind Control Method. (Patent Pending or something.)

You should know, in advance of learning Mind Control, that failing is normal.

That said, if done right (it will take you a few tries), this has a 100% success rate.

Since a very young age I’ve had the incredible ability to achieve, acquire, or do virtually anything I’ve ever wanted. And the reason is I use the Mind Control Method.

When I was in 6th grade I used Mind Control to get a full University scholarship. (I don’t know how it is where you live, but in the U.S. Uni is very expensive.) It materialized 6 years later and I never had to pay for the Computer Science degree I didn’t use. :)

In 8th grade I used Mind Control to pay for a class trip to Chicago, Illinois.

While in University I used Mind Control to keep from ever having to get a job and to build a $100,000+ per year business at age 23.

I have many more examples, but you know I hate fluff so that’s enough of that…

How To Perform Mind Control (On Yourself!)

1) Write down what you want to happen in letter form. That is, write a letter (not a sentence; a detailed letter) to your future self explaining what already happened (even though it hasn’t happened yet). Date the letter and specify the date your goal was reached.

If you don’t know how to begin let me help start you off:

“Hey [your name],

You already know all of this by now, but some amazing things have happened in the last 6 months…”

And then start explaining what you did and how you did it even though it hasn’t been done yet. Sounds complicated. It’s not. Just do it. It’s essential to the brainwashing aspect of Mind Control Method.

Karol, WTF, you just said writing down goals doesn’t work!

That’s not exactly true, so please bear with me here.

2) Read the letter aloud. Seemingly insignificant, but auditory stimulation is important in Mind Control.

3) Believe. Do you believe what you just read aloud? If not, start over with Step 1. That means throw away your letter. Don’t use it as a “draft” for your new letter. Start over. Clean slate.

If you write something like “Man, it’s so cool that I won the lottery. Life is so good now.” the Mind Control Method won’t work. Why? Because there is absolutely no way you will ever truly believe you won the lottery.

Keep repeating Steps 1-3 until you have the wording so vividly clear that it feels like what is in the letter has already happened.

4) Take action. This step is where I feel like you might get caught up. But it doesn’t have to be difficult.

Begin the process of doing what your future self already knows has been done. Take it step by step as you’ve already described in the letter.

You might think this doesn’t work, but you’ve seen one of my letters already. My last Mind Control Method Letter is where Accountability Statement #1 came from. Obviously I changed it around and turned it into a blog post, but within 2 weeks of writing that I increased the readership to this blog 14-fold. And the readership keeps increasing beautifully.

The whole Mind Control Method process should take hours, not minutes. It’s not a fast process whatsoever. If you find yourself not enjoying the process it may be because what you’re writing about in your letter isn’t something you truly want.

I’ve never taught or talked about my Mind Control Method before. I always had a feeling people might think it’s dumb and wouldn’t use it. Which would be a waste of time all around.

I know you’ll use it, because you’re a Ridiculously Extraordinary Person. We don’t try. We do. We use The Iron Mind and we take action.

Go, go, go!

Jumping Into Canyons + Go Go Goa, India

Friday update: Shotover Canyon Swing, Nevis 134m High Wire Bungy, and Building Guitars in India…

Last weekend I was in Queenstown, NZ. To some it’s considered the adventure capital of the world. Sweet. I like adventure.

But Queenstown has something for everyone, adrenaline junkie or not. Luxury hotels? Check. Sweet hostels? (The Last Resort, best hostel ever.) Check. Amazing scenery? Parts of Lord of the Rings were filmed in the surrounding areas. Check. Water sports? Check. You get the point, it has everything.

My main reason for coming to New Zealand was specifically because of Queenstown. More specifically, the Nevis 134m (440ft) High Wire Bungy.

Australia was always on my list of places to visit. New Zealand wasn’t until I learned about Nevis sometime early this year.

Upon arriving in Queenstown I learned about another really fun activity. The Shotover Canyon Swing. It’s 109m (358ft) high with a 60m (197ft) drop and a top speed of 150kph (93mph).

I decided to book the Canyon Swing for Saturday since it was windy and not a particularly nice day. I wanted to do the Nevis jump on a clear sunny day, and Sunday’s forecast was perfect.

Canyon Swing Videos (yes, I was nervous, as you can tell):

Sunday I headed to Nevis. Unfortunately, I stupidly bought the DVD instead of the USB stick (wasn’t thinking, must’ve been the adrenaline) so I won’t have the video digitized until December.

Nevis was a really fun experience. I’ll leave it at that until I have video to share. ;)

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A few people have noticed that my sidebar has been updated with a slight change of plans. I had planned on going to Singapore/Thailand in January, but now I’m going to India.

Why India?

To learn how to build guitars with a luthier.

I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time. When I was in 9th grade I built a guitar that barely played and sounded like crap. I didn’t give it another shot. Until now!

India isn’t exactly known as a guitar building mecca. But that doesn’t mean it’s not full of skilled craftsmen.

And I love Indian food.

And the weather is great.

And it’s about $3k cheaper than doing the same type of course in the U.S. :)

I’ll be in Goa for a month or two.

Then, assuming I don’t fall in love with India, I’ll head to Thailand.

Been to India or Thailand? Sweet! Let me know your experiences.

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I wrote this from the most beautiful place I’ve ever been in my life. Lake Tekapo, New Zealand. Thanks to Eszter, a CouchSurfer I met in Sydney, for insisting I visit here.

Lake Tekapo New Zealand

How To Be Socially Unacceptable (or Why I Quit Drinking)

Want to confuse people? Go party at bars/clubs and don’t drink. Join me in Ridiculously Extraordinary Challenge #1…

“Ocsober? No drinking in October? WTF are you talking about?”

While in Brisbane, Australia I tried to explain my sobriety pledge for October to a stranger.

Back track just a bit: While in Sydney, Australia in September I read about an upcoming charity event called Ocsober.

I was immediately intrigued.

No drinking for the month of October? Count me in!

Backpackers are expected to drink. I don’t do what’s expected of me. :)

I’ve cut out drinking multiple times before.

It was usually for other reasons, like the 30 days I quit drinking while I was on a gluten free (+vegan) diet.

Years ago I quit drinking for 6 months simply because all I ever seemed to do with my friends was drink.

It was easy.

Ocsober started early for me. I quit drinking 26 September, 2009 and fully planned on drinking at midnight on 31 October, 2009 (Halloween Party!).

Then I meditated for a while on why I enjoy drinking and why I don’t enjoy drinking.

Why I enjoy drinking:

  • I like the taste of beer, wine, Jagermeister, tequila, and vodka. (Trying to cover all the bases!)
  • As much as I’d like to lie to myself about it, getting a buzz makes being social in new environments easier.
  • Getting buzzed feels good.
  • It temporarily relieves feelings of sadness/depression, which, for the past ~2 years has been a non-issue. (More on this topic in the future.)

Why I don’t enjoy drinking:

  • Lots of beer/wine is made using isinglass, a fish by-product, as a fining agent. That means lots of beer/wine isn’t vegan. I was unaware of this until a wonderful CouchSurfer in Sydney enlightened me.
  • I hate using it as a crutch in social environments.
  • When I think about the times I’ve had the most fun in my life it has never involved drinking.
  • I started drinking when I was 13. My liver has probably gone through enough abuse in the past 15 years.
  • My veganism is, first and foremost, about respect for animals. But health is a strong second. I love my life and want to live forever.
  • It’s a ridiculous waste of money. While in Germany for 8 days in March ’09 I spent almost $1,000 USD on alcohol. Did I have a great time with my friends? Yes. Would I have had a great time with my friends sans alcohol? Yes.

I haven’t had an urge to touch a drop of alcohol since I quit.

I feel god damn electric!

It’s difficult to put into words, but I’ll do my best.

After that first month of sobriety I felt on top of the world. Eating a vegan diet already felt pretty amazing on a daily basis, but when I added sobriety to the mix I reached another level.

I sleep better. I wake up better. I feel better about myself. I feel better about being an advocate for Ridiculously Extraordinary Health.

Living a Ridiculously Extraordinarily Healthy Lifestyle

There is evidence to support small amounts of alcohol as beneficial. There is also evidence to support small amounts of alcohol as detrimental. At this point, I haven’t read enough compelling evidence to support either choice completely.

All I know is the choice I’ve made.

How To Quit

Interested in giving it a shot?

I’ve always been a do it or don’t, black/white, type of person.

That’s where this comes in…

Ridiculously Extraordinary Challenge #001

Quit drinking for the next 30 days.

That starts TODAY. Right now.

Have plans to go out and party with your friends? Great. Perfect time to actively practice living on purpose.

A regular at the local bar? Cool, save all that money. I just gave you a raise.

The Big Prize

Your prize is proving to yourself you can do something not a single person around you thinks you can do. Believe me, you will get shit for not drinking.

At any time during the Challenge if you feel like you’re not going to make it give me a call (352) 577-0173 or send me an e-mail: KarolGajda AT Gmail.com (Considering I’m traveling around New Zealand, e-mail will have a 100% success rate, whereas phone will be far less, sorry.)

3,000 Days of Sobriety

My small, but attainable goal, is for 100 people to do this Challenge. A collective 3,000 days of sobriety. That’s 8.2 YEARS!

Yes, I like the number 100. Yes, this Challenge falls during the Holidays. Good. Join it or don’t.

Sobriety is not socially acceptable.

Being socially acceptable is overrated.

If somebody asks you why you don’t drink you can use one of the following succinct phrases:

  • I respect my body and my health.
  • I’m being socially unacceptable.
  • It makes me feel great.
  • Or a short and powerful phrase of your own.

If you’re in on this Challenge post in the comments. You can drink again on December 24 so let it flow let it flow let it flow. :)

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If you need to get real help with alcoholism or anything of that sort please seek it out.  Friends, family, SMART Recovery (secular, science based), SOS International (also secular), or any other organization.

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Last week, Karen from DreamInTheLife.com wrote a really brave post called “I Don’t Want To Be The Alcoholic That I Am” and you should check it out. Maybe, if you don’t want to do it for yourself, you can dedicate your next 30 days of sobriety to her.

Announcing Ridiculously Extraordinary Black Book #001!

Ridiculously Extraordinary Black Book #001 is here! Free direct download. No need to submit your e-mail address. Just download, read, and share!

Hey there!

Instead of the Friday Update I’m doing a Thursday Update because of something I’m incredibly excited about. Yes, I’m just as excited as those kids in the picture above. :)

Today marks the first release in a series of Ridiculously Extraordinary Black Books.

RE Black Books are Special Ops guides on unique topics.

Classified information for Ridiculously Extraordinary People.

No unnecessary photos.

No unnecessary designs.

No bullshit.

#001 in the series is called:

How To Travel Anywhere In The World, Live With Locals, and Enjoy Outstanding Experiences By CouchSurfing

You could also call it The Unofficial Guide To CouchSurfing.

Check it out completely free (you don’t even have to submit your e-mail address) here:

http://www.RidiculouslyExtraordinary.com/blackbook001

About a week ago, I shouted out on Twitter asking for reviews of the draft.

Thanks to everybody who helped me out with fixes and ideas:
– Christopher McDade (sorry, I don’t have your Twitter or Web site, let me know if you have either)
– Denis Ambrose (@deambrosejr)

I appreciate all the feedback, but I’d like to especially thank Nicky (@tumbledesign) from TumbleDesign.com for providing kick ass detailed feedback. He went out of his way to make sure this Black Book is top notch.

Note: I’m in Franz Joseph, New Zealand with limited Internet access today. Could you do me a favor and share the download page to Black Book #001 on Twitter, Facebook, StumbleUpon (http://su.pr/1SbnYD), and via e-mail to your friends?

Thank you!

And please head over to http://www.RidiculouslyExtraordinary.com/blackbook001 and download click click click!

Comments are closed on this post, but they are open on that download page. Please share your thoughts!

Thank you again!

Karol

P.S. For those of you who didn’t want to read everything above here’s the FREE download link to Ridiculously Extraordinary Black Book #001: http://www.RidiculouslyExtraordinary.com/blackbook001

I Love My Mom So There Is No Cursing In This Article (or Why Cursing Is Good)

I curse, you curse, we all curse. This is why it’s OK to curse in a public forum (like a blog)…

In 7th grade my friend Dave told me about a rap group that swore a lot and didn’t have a Parental Advisory sticker on their album covers. That meant you didn’t have to be 16 to buy the records (cassettes/CDs as it were). Perfect for a 12 year old. :)

(For those of you outside of the States please read about the waste of tax payer money that is the Parents Music Resource Center and the Parental Advisory sticker by clicking the blue links.)

The day Dave told me about this group, I.C.P. (Insane Clown Posse), I went out and bought their albums Carnival of Carnage and Beverly Kills 50187. :)

I was hooked for years. It felt like I joined a secret club. A club where nobody cared what you looked like, what you wore, how you spoke, or where you were from. All that mattered was that you liked Faygo and hated “the man.” This was important to angst ridden youth.

Then I.C.P. signed to a major record label and gave up on their convictions for millions of dollars. Since they were no longer independent they had no choice in the matter: every single record they released would have a Parental Advisory sticker on it. CENSORED

It didn’t make sense to me how they could rap about doing whatever they wanted and not conforming to “the man” and yet give in to “the man.”

I stopped listening to them, but their initial indie spirit lived on in my heart. (Now that I’m older I completely understand 2 high school drop outs going after mad cash instead of indie cred.)

“Hey Karol, keep it up. Make sure nobody understands or cares what you’re talking about so they don’t connect with this article.”

Why is my blog talking to me?

Whatever…

Here’s the deal: I know cursing can make a person sound uncultured and uncouth.

That said, I curse. I say For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge and Ship High In Transit and the other words often.

I never claimed to be cultured. ;)

Wait, Ship High In Transit isn’t the real origin of “that word.” I (we?) just learned something. Culture points for Karol? At least 1.

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge is a really bad Van Halen album, but it’s a sweet phrase. Culture points for Karol? 1, but subtract .5 because it’s Sammy Hagar.

“Karol, you’re doing it again.”

Right. Moving on…

I don’t use cursing as a crutch. As is demonstrated by 90% of the articles on this site, I don’t need to curse to get my point across.

Sometimes cursing grabs attention.

And in that way, cursing can be good.

Cursing can cut through a person’s “online reading haze” and get them to focus on what you have to say.

If overused, just like any other literary device, it loses its effectiveness.

Everybody curses

Every creed and every kind, everybody curses. Or they think about cursing  but censor themselves.

It’s liberating to let it happen.

Recently, I used the F-word 2 times in a row for blog titles. That wasn’t on purpose, it just happened that way.

A couple weeks ago I posted F!&k “Doing It While You Can” (or How To Make Things Happen) and I was upset with myself for days.

Censorship isn’t congruent with my personality and I censored my own self out of fear.

“My blog isn’t popular yet. Will the few people who do read, leave if I curse?”

I let that get to me. That is not the Ridiculously Extraordinary Way. I’m not “signed to a major label” like I.C.P.

I can do what I want. :)

So when it came to the articles where I did use the F-word I laid the cards on the table.

I thought to myself:

I can live with losing every single reader I worked hard to acquire if they don’t like the real me. What I can’t deal with is pretending to be something I’m not.”

That’s all it boils down to.

I know I’m being redundant (last week’s article was about being your true self, being congruent), but I’m interested:

Are you the same person in public and in private? That is, do you censor yourself when others are paying attention?

Why or why not?

Friday Update: Thank You Edition #1 + RE Black Book #001

Lots of thanks + info about the first Ridiculously Extraordinary Black Book. Don’t worry, it’s FREE!

Hi.

So this is different for me (if you don’t count Accountability Statement #1). An article about what’s going on and what’s happening and other things that don’t fit into my regular articles. If you don’t care about all that stuff no worries. I won’t force you to read it this time. But next time? Who knows? ;)

I had lunch with Baker (ManVsDebt.com) yesterday and we did a lot of talking. One of the many things we talked about was keeping you updated about the stuff that doesn’t fit into regular posts. I’d planned on doing that before, but the convo with Baker gave me the kick in the ass I needed to actually do it.

Speaking of Baker, if you don’t already know about him and his Ridiculously Extraordinary Life, go check out his site: www.ManVsDebt.com

Wow, Lots of New Readers!

In the past 2 weeks this blog’s readership (RSS readership specifically) has jumped 14-fold. If you’re new here: Hi, and thanks! It means a lot that you care about what I have to say.

I’ve received some really positive e-mails and comments and it feels outstanding that you’ve connected with what I’m doing here.

Can I also take this time to thank you if you’ve been a reader prior to the past 2 weeks? Yes, yes I can. It’s awesome that you found me (somehow!) and e-mailed me and commented and all that other good stuff. Thank you!

So what happened in that past 2 weeks? Well, guest posts.

First, I had a guest post on Simplenomics.com, which is a blog run by an old friend Mike Sigers. It’s called The Ridiculously Extraordinary Way To New Customers. Check it if you’re an offline small business owner.

A few days later I had…

The Biggest Guest Post Ever

It’s not often a small blog like mine can get a guest post on a site with 140,000+ RSS subscribers and millions of visitors. But it happened. And it hit. Hard.

My guest post on Leo Babauta’s ZenHabits.net catapulted this here blog into a new stratosphere. If you haven’t read it already, check out The Beginner’s Guide To Minimalist Travel.

The exact number of visitors, subscribers, and revenue (yes, revenue, even though this blog has no advertising and writing guest posts is not a paid gig) from that single post will be revealed in a 2,000+ word Case Study.

I can’t tell you when that will be released because I don’t know. I do know it probably won’t be until at least December. You’ll understand why when the time comes. Man, that is so cryptic. :)

Quite a few more guest posts on some really awesome blogs coming in the near future. I don’t know exact dates but I will Tweet (@KarolGajda) about them when they’re out.

Ridiculously Extraordinary Black Book #001

My first free eBook is coming soon!

Ridiculously Extraordinary Black Books are Special Ops Guides on unique topics. Classified information for Ridiculously Extraordinary People. ;)

The first is called…

How To Travel Anywhere In The World, Live With Locals, and Have Outstanding Experiences…All For Free!

Also known as The Unofficial Guide To CouchSurfing.

I’ll release it next Thursday (November 19, 2009) assuming everything goes right.

I’m really excited. CouchSurfing changed my life. Really. Joining CouchSurfing spearheaded my Drastic Life Change I hinted at in Needs vs Wants.

Comments Moderation

I will be slow to approving or responding to comments for the next few weeks. Why? I’m on a hop-on hop-off bus tour around New Zealand right now. It’s not my style of travel, but I’ve got to do it before I can really comment on whether I like it or not. 15 or so cities in the next 3 weeks! It’s a bit much but should be fun none-the-less.

Thanks again for reading. You are amazing!

Needs vs. Wants or My Mom Thinks I’m Crazy or How To Be Congruent

If you’ve struggled with determining how to figure out what you truly need to live a Ridiculously Extraordinary Life read on…

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve bought a lot of stupid things I thought I needed over the years.

I thought I needed a BMW. So I bought one. I thought I needed a 2,500 square foot house. So I bought one. (I’m single with no children*, what did I think I needed 4 bedrooms for?!)

I didn’t see a problem writing a check for a luxury car (I may have been stupid, but at least I bought used and didn’t finance it), but I’d eat horrible, cheap, unhealthy boxed mac & cheese or WalMart pasta every day.

Gross.

Spending $3 per pound for apples or oranges seemed outrageous to me.

Do you see the disconnect?

I didn’t at the time.

Cars, big houses, things, they’re all wants.

Quality, nutritious, food is a need.

A couple years ago (the beginning of my Drastic Life Change, which I’m still trying to put down into coherent words) it finally hit me:

Wants are dictated by outside influences.

TV, friends, family, books, magazines, Web sites, and countless other inputs.

Needs are dictated by biology.

Food, water, shelter. I’ll also throw in creative pursuits and exercise because eating, drinking, and sitting in a house all day isn’t healthy. Yes, I know from experience.

Be Congruent

In other words, do what you want based on what you need.

I understand needing a car to get around. But an extravagant car won’t make you happier than a car that runs well.

BMWs are great cars, but mine provided no more happiness than my old 1989 Grand Prix I got as a hand me down from my Brother (thanks man!).

I let myself be conditioned to believe that since I was making a decent amount of money I should drive a really nice car. My personality is more low key than that.

I wasn’t being congruent.

It’s not about cheap vs expensive.

I bought a really nice Gibson SG Standard guitar a few years ago for about $1,200. I’d wanted this guitar since I started playing 15 years ago. Playing guitar isn’t just a sometimes hobby for me. If I don’t play regularly I don’t feel right. (Which means I never pass up a guitar shop while on the road!)

A quality guitar plays better and sounds better than a cheaply made guitar (usually). My happiness was legitimately improved by playing a higher quality instrument.

Buying a quality guitar was congruent to my personality and, as a result, brought me happiness day in and day out. But I’m mindful of dependency (that dirty word dependency) and sold my SG before embarking on my travels. It’s of no use to me sitting in storage.

Do you notice any of these patterns in your own life? You buy something you think you need, but after the initial elation is over you don’t feel any different?

So let’s try something different.

Instead of keeping up with the Joneses why not keep up with ourselves?

“Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to yourself.” – Henry Rollins

How To Break The Cycle

Getting out of this constant cycle of doing what we think we’re supposed to do and buying what we think we’re supposed to buy is simple.

1) Figure out what is congruent for you.

and

2) Stick to your convictions in the face of society’s pressures.

You will get unsolicited opinions and advice, but nobody can tell you what is right for you but you.

You can even disregard everything I’ve written because it’s my opinion and advice.

Challenge everything and everyone.

If you think living your life the way others choose for you is fine then who am I to tell you otherwise?

But based on the fact that you’re a Ridiculously Extraordinary Reader you probably don’t want to be like everybody else, do you? Thank you for that. :)

How To Be Congruent

Enough talk. Let’s get down to it.

If people around you know you’re serious about your convictions it helps keep them off your back.

For example, when I stopped eating animals my Mom said I was crazy. Every time I’d speak with her she’d ask if I was still being crazy. After a few months she realized it wasn’t a diet, but a lifestyle.

Diets don’t last. Lifestyle changes do. Now she doesn’t ask, she knows.

1) Be Clear About Your Convictions

When someone questions why you’re doing something, be succint and direct. This is not a time to be wishy-washy. Stake your claim and hold to it.

When people used to ask me why I ate a vegan diet I’d babble a long and unconvincingly boring string of sentences.

So I changed it to: “Out of respect for animals.”

Which I more recently updated to: “Out of respect for animals and my health.”

No room for interpretation there. 8 words. 2 seconds. They understand it’s not up for debate.

2) There Is No Step 2.

Being congruent is about being your true self, figuring out what you need, no matter what.

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* No known children anyway. BOOYA! I kid, I kid. ;) I just ruined this whole article with that, didn’t I? Ssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiitttttttttt…

How To Procrastinate Like A Bad Ass (or How To Overcome Writer’s Block)

When nothing else works: procrastinate. Here’s how I did it…

Last Wednesday in Brisbane, Australia I sat down to work in the Regus Business Lounge (free access with my Amex Platinum card) and nothing came out.

Nothing.

I can’t recall the last time I had writer’s block. Usually I can at least pump out useless drivel.

But my mind was blank and I couldn’t come up with anything.

Coming from the guy who wrote this article, it was pretty sad. :)

Most tips for curing writer’s block state to take notes, read/research your topic, and just plain force it.

I forced it, and when nothing happened it was time for a radical change.

I decided to procrastinate.

It’s what a lot of us do best, after all. :)

How I Killed Writer’s Block With Procrastination

Following is the exact series of steps that lead to a cure for my writer’s block. Can you guess what the secret cure was before I give it away at the end?

1) I missed lunch with friends because it was pouring rain and I didn’t want my laptop to get ruined.

I was already frustrated due to the writer’s block, and this just increased that frustration.

2) So I went to the Gallery of Modern Art and stared at abstract paintings for an hour.

Ahh, immediate happiness.

3) The rain died down so I walked to my CouchSurfing host’s place.

It was a 30 minute walk and it started raining again 10 minutes in. I got pretty soaked, but all I could do was laugh at that point.

4) Went to an old school guitar store to play refurbished guitars from yesteryear.

I love playing guitar and I especially love small, old school, guitar shops.

1930s uke?! Don’t mind if I do. Weird no-name guitar with a triangle neck? Yes, please.

5) Cooked dinner for a household of 5 (my CouchSurfing host’s place).

I love making dinner, especially when it’s my World Famous 4 Bean, Soy Free, Gluten Free, Vegan Chili.

6) Went to see an old Australian “horror” movie at the Gallery of Modern Art called Turkey Shoot. (Not about shooting turkeys.)

Nothing like a good laugh to make you feel amazing.

7) Hung out at a bar and tried Ginger Beer for the first time.

I don’t drink soft drinks and I’d been practicing Ocsober (no alcohol in October), but I’d never heard of Ginger Beer (it’s a non-alcoholic soft drink) so I decided to try it. (It’s really popular in Australia.)

Let me tell you, it was outstanding. I love ginger and this stuff was very gingery. (Is that a word?) I’ll probably never drink another one, but it was awesome none-the-less.

You can see I’m an outstanding procrastinator. By this time it was after 11pm.

I hadn’t touched my laptop in 12 hours!

When we got back home I decided to fire up my computer and I was “magically” inspired to write. So inspired that I wrote 2 articles (both guest posts for other blogs) within 90 minutes. My goal was only to write 1 article, but everything was flowing.

Why Did Procrastination Cure My Writer’s Block?

Sometimes, just sometimes, the best way to deal with writer’s block is to do anything but write.

The key, however, is to do things that are fun and inspiring. I love modern art, playing guitar, cooking, old horror movies, and trying new things. I jam packed all of that into my day.

How do you cure writer’s block?

Or any mental block for that matter. Please share it in the comments.