Category: Life

Fear Of Extraordinary Experiences Will Never Cease

What are you afraid of?

Worth the fear?

Before selling all my crap and leaving for Australia in 2009 I was scared. I distinctly remember waking up on 1 Sept, 2009 after a less-than-stellar night of sleep and thinking to myself “Holy crap, it’s happening, what am I doing? Here we go …” Even though Australia is English speaking and it’s not a place where I would experience culture shock, the newness (to me) of what was happening was a scary feeling.

Before flying to India in 2010 I was scared. I’d never been to a Third World country before and I’d heard many stories, both good and bad. “Prepare to experience the dirtiest place you’ve ever seen.” “India is amazing, you’re going to love it.” “Watch out for little kids getting too close for comfort and reaching into your bags.” Some of the things I heard were utterly ridiculous and nothing prepared me for the actual experience.

Before going back to my birthplace (Wroclaw, Poland) I was scared. Was I going to hate it? Would I actually improve my Polish language skills enough to stop feeling embarrassed conversing in the language?

Before jumping into a canyon head first in New Zealand I was scared. “You’re going to hold me upside down 160m above the ground and then drop me 60m in a few seconds? Hmmm …”

Before starting my first business project I was scared. “What if I fail? What if everybody makes fun of me? What if I don’t make it?”

Before beginning new business projects I still get scared. “What if this doesn’t go over well? What if I waste my time and the results are subpar?”

Before starting this blog I was scared. “Is anybody going to read besides me and a friend or two?”

You’re going to be afraid when you’re aspiring to extraordinary experiences. Fear is natural. There is no such thing as “no fear.”

There is such a thing as “I wish I would have done X and not let fear get the best of me.” That’s known as regret.

It’s not easy to live a life of no regrets, but if you don’t aspire to that are you even truly living?

This post was inspired by the “What do you regret?” question I received for Extraordinary Insights Volume 1.

Making Decisions and Starting Riots

Because you don’t want to start a riot with your decision making process. Or do you?

Too many choices = tough decisions.

Note (written after I wrote the words below): This article will confuse you. Or it will be very clear to you. There are no bullet points or headlines. Read it at your own discretion. ;)

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In general I’m very good at making decisions. The more seemingly difficult the decision the easier it is for me. You know those big “at a crossroads” type decisions? The kind that can greatly affect your future? Yeah, those are easy.

Big decisions usually have only 2 clearcut options. Do X or Y. Truthfully only one option ever really feels right. Many times this “feels right” decision is also the one that scares us the most, hence our apprehension in pulling the trigger. I didn’t get a BB gun when I was 13 to refrain from pulling triggers. :) (Blame gangsta rap, it’s an easy … target. Pun!)

The decisions I struggle with are the little ones because the little decisions are the ones that, ironically enough, usually have the most options. The Paradox of Choice! What do I have for lunch? Oh, I don’t know, how about any number of a million choices within a 3 minute walk or 1 second walk to my fridge. :)

Lately I’ve been struggling with the decision about where I should head for my next destination. I have a bit of a time constraint. It’s about 5 weeks. Based on the paradox of choice, this should make my decision easier. But I don’t think about vacation, I think about “how do I make use of every single day of my visa and maybe a little extra?” So if I’m going to take a shorter trip it feels like a waste to only go somewhere for 5 weeks.

I asked on Facebook where you would go if you had to choose one destination for 5 weeks. (Check out the responses here.) In a way I was hoping your answers might make my decision easier. In fact, now there are more places I want to go to. :)

“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion.” – Chinese proverb.

The problem here is that none of my ideas scare me. I don’t get a distinct “yeah, this one” feeling. (Deciding where you’re going to travel isn’t necessarily life changing or world shattering, although it can be.) Not every decision has to be a scary one, of course. Otherwise, I’d be eating a lot of stray dogs.

I’ve never consciously broken down my decision making process because I don’t have much of a decision making process. Let’s create a decision making process, shall we?

First, to make a decision you need to, as clearly as possible, know your options.

What are the options?

In my case, I have 3 options. B, R, and S. Let’s call them Bricks, Riboflavin, and Submarines.

Second, are any of the options obviously out of the question?

Sometimes it’s glaringly obvious that one of our options are just not a good fit. Maybe it’s current timing, maybe it’s forever out of the question, or maybe it’s something that we hadn’t seen before. Whatever the case, you might be able to immediately disregard one or more of your options.

In my case I love Bricks, Riboflavin, and Submarines equally. I can use Bricks during “riots” to “protect” the homestead. Riboflavin is a necessary nutrient. And Submarines are both sandwiches and underwater boats. I can get behind all of that!

If you’ve removed one or more of the options, does it make your decision easier? No? Moving on …

Third, what would happen if you flipped a coin?

If you flipped a coin or played some other game of chance to make your decision would you be OK with the outcome?

Personally, this option doesn’t work too well for me in my situation. Without a compelling reason behind my decision it just won’t feel good to me. I need something tangible in my particular situation.

Do you need something tangible as well? Moving on …

Fourth, what are the benefits of each decision?

Some people make pro/con lists, but how about we stick to just the pros first?

In my case:

– I’ve never experienced throwing Bricks at a “riot” before and I’ve always wanted to. In that way it will be an incredible growth experience.

– Although I get Riboflavin daily, I’ve never consciously taken it. Living consciously is important.

– As for Submarines: The last time I ate sandwiches on an underwater boat it was one of the best times of my life! I would love to experience that again.

Are any of these positives compelling enough? No? Moving on …

Fifth, what are the negatives of each decision?

– If I’m going to throw Bricks I want to throw a lot of them. And 5 weeks isn’t enough time to do much damage.

– Do I ever really need to consciously take Riboflavin? I’m not so sure. Maybe I should get some blood work done.

– Submarines are stressful. Cramped quarters with lots of other people. But I love being underwater without touching it. It’s a unique experience that not many others get to experience and I’m not so sure I’ll have too many more opportunities to experience this.

Whoa, I just made my decision. Thanks for hanging with me. See you on the little yellow submarine. That is not a drug reference you Beatles fan you. It is, however, a metaphor. :)

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What is your decision making process?

Extraordinary Insights Volume 1

In which I answer dozens of your questions in 6,500 words …

Last month I opened up a Q&A where you had the option to anonymously ask me any question about anything you thought would help you and others. I received a lot of responses and this post is well over 6,000 words. Many of the questions were similar so I did my best to edit them into a single question and I also didn’t answer a few of the questions at all because they didn’t fall within the realm/spirit of what this is about.

Before we get to it, I would like to thank Roy Naim for formatting the questions for me into categories. :)

Let’s get to it …

Business / Blogging – 15 Questions

Knowing what you know now, if you had $1,000 to start your life of Ridiculously Extraordinary Freedom over, how would you allocate it?

This question could be taken a myriad of ways, but I’ll do my best.

Considering I started my first 6 figure business for less than $200 and this blog for less than $200 (as far as revenue, also a 6 figure business) I wouldn’t do much differently. We can always think about “I should have done this” or “I could have done that” or “I wish I did X this way” but none of that is particularly useful.

The simple procedure I’ve taken for everything that I’ve done successfully has been along the lines of:

  1. Decide on a niche, even if it’s not particularly well defined.
  2. Give that niche what it wants.

Is that too basic? Too pared down? No, it isn’t.

If you focus on giving people what they want then you will get what you want. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Which might lead to another question: “Well, what do people want?”

Health, wealth, and happiness.

In whatever niche you’re in this is what people are looking for.

Say you write a blog about fitness. What is your audience looking for? They probably want to lose weight and get fit so they feel good about themselves when they’re out and about in their daily lives. What does that mean? They want health and happiness.

It’s not complicated. Most people overcomplicate business and achieving success. That’s not to say that it’s necessarily easy to dominate or establish a foothold in your niche, but it is possible and the general process is not complicated.

How do you decide on particular niche markets? What filters do you use and how systematic can you make it for beginners?

Find the cross section of what you love and what people pay for. Again, it’s not complicated. Most of us have multiple interests. Take stock of those interests.

Which would you be happy to be involved with 5-10 years down the line?

That’s a good start. If you don’t see yourself in any particular market 5-10 years down the line then you’re not business focused, you’re money focused. That’s what day jobs are for.

Once you’ve envisioned one of your interests 5-10 years down the line, it will take a little research to see if it’s a viable market. In other words, can you make money?

To do that look for other blogs, books, eBooks, courses, seminars, webinars, and websites in the market. Is there anybody making money in your prospective market? If yes, good. Are there multiple people making money in your prospective market? If yes, great.

Are there not very many websites on your topic? It’s probably too small and it would behoove you to choose one of your other interests.

Do you use in-the-back stuff like keywords and backlinks to increase traffic? I know you use great content to secure followers and affiliate links to increase income, but how great a role do the less-visible elements play?

Backlinks that come naturally from other websites linking to me? Yes. Everything else? No.

My SEO sucks. How did you get good at it?

I don’t focus on SEO at all. Thesis Theme (the wordpress theme I use) is set up out-of-the-box to have great on-page SEO and 15% of my traffic comes from Google without focusing on Google whatsoever.

I’ve done absolutely nothing else. I don’t research keywords (although maybe I should). I don’t do article marketing (although maybe I should). I don’t spam with crappy article spinning (ugh, please never do this; if you don’t know what I’m referring to then all the better).

I’ve witnessed your site (and business, in general) grow from TALKING about being extraordinary, to truly BECOMING extraordinary. What were the most integral steps to making that happen?

I’m not entirely sure what this means, to be honest.

What I will say is nothing new though: give people what they want, be honest, show your true self (flaws and all), and people will connect with you.

The reason you see this advice repeated is because it works.

Another reason you see this advice repeated is because the general question is fairly common.

Successful people aren’t successful because of luck or necessarily even skill.

They’re successful because when they get advice (like give people what they want, be honest, show your true self) from someone who is successful they take action on it.

There are no secrets. No magic pills.

Napoleon Hill said (paraphrased): “If you can conceive and believe, you can achieve.”

What he left out was “Get off your ass and do something.”

I’m a bit overwhelmed with the mechanical aspects of starting my own website. Can you offer a little insight into what you use to run Ridiculously Extraordinary? Google Analytics? Themes? E-junkie? Feedburner? Widgets?

I have a very uncomplicated setup although if you’re just getting started then it will seem complicated.

Web host: BlueHost

Content Management System (CMS): WordPress (very quick install when you use BlueHost)

WordPress Theme: Thesis (I hung out with the creator Chris Pearson a couple times in Austin. He’s a really smart guy and I’m happy to support entrepreneurs who kick ass.)

Traffic analytics: Google Analytics

Shopping cart: E-junkie

Credit card processor: Paypal (usually) and Google Checkout (sparingly)

RSS subscriptions: Feedburner

E-mail course: Aweber (The #1 factor for your long term business success is having an e-mail list. Ignore this at your own peril.)

Image hosting: Amazon S3

Note on Amazon S3: I use Amazon S3 to host all the images and file downloads on my blog so that my web host is not overwhelmed when there are traffic spikes. When we did the Cyber Monday Only72.com sale we did almost 500GB of bandwidth in those 3 days. That would kill most web hosts. BlueHost held up just fine because we only used it to host the website, not all the large files. :)

WordPress Plugins:

– Akismet

– Amazon S3 For WordPress

– Contact Form 7

– Google XML Sitemaps

– MaxBlogPress Ping Optimizer

– PC Robots.txt

– Subscribe To Comments (highly recommended you use something like this)

– TweetMeme Retweet Button

– WordPress-Facebook-Like

– WordPress.com Stats (not very good and have considered scrapping this)

– WP Super Cache

I have quit my day job 4 months ago and am trying to make money online since. I have a vision to earn small amount of $500 – $1000 monthly – that is my ‘enough’ line. I intend to then share my knowledge to others because I believe everyone should know an easy way to make a basic living without much work. This is probably very hard question but anyway, what would you do to achieve my goal? Or is it utopia?

Unfortunately you did it backwards. The idea is that you start making money first, then you quit your job. It’s very rare that somebody can quit their job and then figure out how to make money for themselves. There is just too much pressure.

As far as your idea of sharing your knowledge about how to make a living without much work: it doesn’t exist. And it’s actually a trap a lot of people get into.

How many bloggers write about how to blog without having a successful blog of their own? How many bloggers write about how to make money online without making any money online for themselves? How many bloggers write about traveling the world and working from anywhere without actually knowing a thing about travel? Too many. Some, unfortunately, are successful and spread messages and theories that don’t work. Thankfully, most are not successful.

Don’t think about how you can make money showing people how to make money. Add value to other people’s lives and you will make money. That value will not come by showing somebody how to do something that you do not know how to do.

Regarding branding for a blog: Do you think it’s better for the domain name to be the author’s own name, or a word/phrase that relates to the niche the blog is about?

There are just too many great examples for me to say you can’t use your name.

ChrisGuillebeau.com and TylerTervooren.com being two of them.

That said, you’ll see a common thread amongst the bloggers who blog with their names as the domain: they all give their blogs a unique name.

Chris’s is The Art of Non-conformity.

Tyler’s is Advanced Riskology.

As long as you come up with a good hook, the small details don’t matter.

For me, the pivotal moment that brought me wholeheartedly into your camp was the You Are Not A Number post. You have a great capacity for being welcoming and connecting with your readers, and it’s very much appreciated. How do you keep up with all of that and still have time for all of your writing projects and the other things that are important to you? How can new bloggers learn to focus without getting sucked in to the blogosphere to the exclusion of all else?

It’s not an issue of having time or making time. It’s what I do, so the time is there. In other words, there is nothing to keep up with because it’s what I do.

The way you approach blogging and connecting is important. If you take it seriously you’ll make it happen.

As for not getting sucked into the blogosphere: don’t have more than 10 subscriptions in your RSS feed and don’t spend all your time pretending to connect with people on Twitter. These subscriptions and follows can change over time (i.e. remove one, add one, remove two, add one, remove one, add two, whatever). Simple. Do it or don’t.

How do you decide whether or not to write about other people, say friends and family, in your blog? Do you ask permission or change names? I realize that you don’t do it very often and that your blog is about your goal to help your ‘right people’ realize their personal definition of freedom, so other folks don’t show up very often in your posts. Even so, if you have an answer, I’d love to hear it.

I write about whatever I want to write about. I don’t worry about repercussions because any repercussions you might be imagining are in your head. Nothing truly bad will happen by being honest with yourself and those in your life. Will some relationships fizzle or strain? Maybe. But isn’t it better to live with a free conscience and let your friends/family know how you truly feel? If it does bother you just don’t write about people.

Is it realistic to build your own online business in three months with 5-figure income coming in at the end and quit 9-5 job?

No.

I have a product I am trying to sell but I’m having a hard time connecting with people in my industry through email. I try to come off friendly, offering value, in a short, personal email, but largely these emails go ignored. I know these individuals are pitched all the time and my low pressure friendly tactics don’t seem to be working. Do you typically build a friendship first or just try and get to the point? Is it really a friendship if your looking for business?

If you’re just looking for business, then no it’s not friendship. That doesn’t mean it can’t work, or that you won’t become friends, but it’s an uphill battle.

How do you get around it? Connect with people you’re a fan of. It doesn’t matter if they’re in your industry or not. Most of my friends are not in my industry. Most of the people I know online are only in my industry in a roundabout way because we’re bloggers and Internet entrepreneurs.

If you’re trying to sell someone on an initial contact then you’re not coming off as friendly or offering any value. You’re focused on what you can get not what you can give. Give first. Give what you think may be too much. You’ll get more than enough back.

To better set and track my goals of world domination, what is a vague/approximate number for “small army members” per annual dollar in revenue? For example, if you have 10K people who occasionally check out your site, 2K people who buy your cheaper stuff & click on affiliate links and 500 people who buy your flagship project, this produces an annual income of x number of dollars. (I’m shooting for a goal of $2k in income per month from my online business and wanting to know what milestones I need to set to accomplish this goal.)

This is literally impossible to answer in the way you’re thinking about it because every single business, without fail, is different and produces different metrics.

If you want $2k/month this is how it’s broken down:

If you have a $10 product you need to make 200 sales to make $2,000. If you need to make 200 sales and your conversion rate is 1% then you need 20,000 visitors.

If you have a $100 product you need to make 20 sales to make $2,000. If you need to make 20 sales and your conversion rate is 1% you need 2,000 visitors.

You have to look at the numbers specifically for your business and reverse engineer what you have to do to make the numbers work.

Is it a possibility that privatization of the internet, anti net neutrality legislation (or the government’s refusal to protect net neutrality in the US) will have a negative effect on Freedom Fighters who are trying to pursue an online freedom business lifestyle?

Do what you do, don’t worry about what could happen. Live for today, not for tomorrow. Nobody can take today away from you. If you’re worrying about tomorrow then they’ve already taken everything you will ever have.

I am new to the internet business world. I have decided to set up a team to move forward with some of my ideas. My question is, how do I best identify potential partners whom I can trust will be on topic with my vision? I do not have a lot of local access, my inner circle is not as savvy as I am, which is not saying much.

The first question I have to ask is, why do you need a team? Start small, start with just yourself, when you need to add someone to the team (you might not) then worry about it. At this point you just need to get started and ship something. You’ll know when a potential partner is a good fit based on how you feel and when you know exactly what you need them for.

How do you think the minimalist lifestyle and business model applies to those gifted in and drawn to the artisan crafts or fine arts?

Can you live a minimalist lifestyle and still produce artisan crafts? Yes. I’m assuming you’re asking since you’ll need a lot of gear to make certain crafts. Minimalism is about having exactly what you need and nothing more. It’s not about owning 100 things.

Follow up to the last question: Can you achieve freedom as a leather craftsman?

Yes, but it depends on your definition of freedom. Truthfully, only you can answer this question because you are in the fantastic position of defining your own freedom.

Personal Development – Fear, Habits, Passion – 8 Questions

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There are many great blogs out there talking about how to monetize your passion. My question is what about those of us who don’t really feel passionate about anything? I find that since I decided to stop “striving” for pointless achievements I feel lost in limbo. I “like” many things, but nothing I would call “passion.” On behalf of the passionless what is your opinion/experience with this?

That’s a great question. If you’re passionless it’s a symptom of something greater, like depression. I know what that’s like. I spent years in a seemingly endless pit of despair.

That said, to find your passion, a great place to start is with the things you like, but you don’t believe you’re passionate about. You may surprise yourself once you begin focusing on something.

It’s similar to the way I approach fitness and working out. Lots of people say they hate working out or they start a workout program and quit because they don’t like it. Fair enough, there is a lot not to like.

The key isn’t to force yourself into a workout program you don’t enjoy. The key is to keep searching until you find a workout that you do enjoy.

The same can be said for passion. Which of your “likes” can you see yourself working at 5-10 years from now?

How do I combat my fear of not being perfect or good enough and just get started doing and living extraordinarily?

Nobody is perfect. The fear holding you back is most likely fear of failure. But we already know failure doesn’t exist. Resistance, to use Steven Pressfield’s word, is also holding you back. But it holds all of us back. Know that every successful person in the world deals with the same issues as you. Sure, once somebody has a bit of success it begets more success, but that doesn’t mean that Resistance isn’t trying to keep us back. If there’s something you want to do sit down for 1 minute, just 60 seconds, and start doing it. Once you start you will build momentum. If that doesn’t work then you’re working on something you’re not at all interested in.

(If you’d like to know how to achieve perfection click here.)

I find myself wanting to just stay away, be alone with my own thoughts for fear that I may lose my uniqueness. This may sound weird but this is one of the reasons I don’t read a lot, unless is something specific I want to know about. With so much information out there, how do you keep your thoughts/ideas from being contaminated with those of other people?

Here’s the reality: nobody is truly unique. Every thought you have came from somewhere. Every thought I have has been influenced by someone or some thing. I welcome my thoughts being “contaminated” by other ideas. This is how we grow. I know what I believe, but I’m also open to change. In actuality, reading a lot will expand and reinforce many of your ideas. And it might even change some of them for the better. :)

When an individual finds someone who inspires them, it can be easy to fall into a “what would Karol do?” mindset, at least initially. You are great at shifting the focus from you and your ideas to us and our potential. Human beings are in general self-centered, and shifting the focus from inward reflection to outward desire to help others is so valuable. How did you learn how to do that, and how can we learn it, so as to help others with our particular gifts?

When I’m writing on my blog or other public writing it is usually directed to one person, or maybe a few people. That helps me remove focus from myself and shift it to you. It’s a very conscious process. And in that respect it’s very easy to learn. If you want to share your gifts with someone simply focus on them when you’re writing or speaking. Don’t think about helping the masses, think about helping one individual, or a few individuals with similar traits.

One of your big things is “it’s not a race.” What’s your best advice for new readers of RidEx and Freedom Fighters who desperately want to leave the rat race, and have a hard time pacing themselves and dealing with the concept of delayed gratification? How do they temper their urge to hurry, so as to get the most out of the valuable process of life changes without losing momentum?

I will share with you the truth: you have no choice. You can pace yourself and succeed or you can rush through things and virtually guarantee failure. Knowing this doesn’t necessarily make delaying gratification any easier, but at least you know the outcome of whatever you choose to do. As for momentum, if you’re working towards something that you feel in every fiber of your being then you won’t need motivation to keep it up.

Somebody once asked me why I’m an entrepreneur. It’s because I have no choice. I can’t work a 9 to 5. It’s not simply due to freedom or because I hate corporate structure or whatever else everybody says. I simply have no other choice because I am not a hire-able human being. Don’t give yourself any other choice. No backup plans. No “ehh, if X doesn’t work I can always do Y.” If you want something get it. It’s there for you to take. Opportunity is everywhere, but most people waste it because they’re too busy road raging, watching Dexter, and sucking down quarter pound grease-ball burgers from McDonald’s (hat tip to Denis Leary for that line).

Sometimes a seemingly random event can be the thing that tips one over the edge toward determination to live a more extraordinary life. It can be as simple as a line in a song or a conversation with a neighbor. What’s one of yours? What are some ways people can think constructively about them, and take the needed steps and do the work to expand on them?

Well, I don’t believe things happen for a reason. We just happen to live with a lot of coincidence. Which is great. We can still hone that and use it for the greater good. I get a lot of inspiration from music. A line I’ve been quoting for years now is from a Down song called “Never Try” and it goes like this: “Never try, either do it or don’t waste your time.” Any time I’m not sure about something or I feel a bit unmotivated that usually perks me up. Or it forces me to make the decision to quit what I’m doing because it’s not something I’m really interested in pursuing.

Actively pursuing these “random events” isn’t worth the time or effort so there’s nothing I can recommend as far as taking certain steps or expanding upon them. You need to put your success on your shoulders instead of randomness or coincidence and make things happen.

I seem to fall off the wagon at the 5 day mark when changing a new habit. Days 1-3 I’m full of enthusiasm, 4 and 5 I use willpower to make sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to, but then I forget that I’m supposed to be changing my behavior. Any advice on that?

There are various studies that say you need 21 or 28 or 30 days to form a new habit. To be honest with you, I don’t bother with looking at numbers like that very often. Every day is Day 1. If there is something you need to do, do it. If you make it to Day 4, stay in the moment and think of it as Day 1. If you miss a day, start at Day 1. No guilt. Changing yourself for the better is an imperfect process, it doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not a race. Eventually momentum will take over and it will be easier. There’s a reason I write every day. It’s not necessarily for the practice or even because I enjoy it. Both of those things are true, but it’s because I’m constantly fighting momentum, Resistance. If I skip a day it’s pretty easy to start back up. If I skip 2 days it gets more difficult. If I skip 3 I might as well forget it.

As an example: this document was supposed to be completed about a month ago. Do you know what happened? I let Resistance win. I let momentum win. I skipped a day because I didn’t make the time (due to traveling or some other commitment). Then I skipped another day because “hey, what’s one more day?” Today (note: date of writing = January 11, 2011), a full 3 weeks after the last time I even looked at this document, I decided I’d work on it for just a few minutes. It’s now 2 hours later and I’m raging through it. I may not finish it today, but I’ve started the snowball effect. Tomorrow I’ll be much more likely to tackle more questions. In a few days this will be complete.

We all struggle with this. It’s important not to let guilt or shame or any other negative feelings stop you from achieving what you want to achieve.

How does one get over an injustice?

Injustice is a part of life. There is not much you can do to control outside forces. You can, however, control how you react. The best way to react is not to react. Let it be, let it pass. Move on.

Lifehack – 7 questions

How can you get affordable health insurance working for yourself?

I wrote about this here.

Don’t smoke, don’t drink a lot, exercise, be healthy. Then choose a plan with a high deductible and a Health Savings Account (HSA), which allows you to put money aside in a bank tax free to be used only for medical expenses.

When I first began buying my own health insurance it was about $50/month. 6 years later it’s $100/month. For absolutely no reason (besides corporate greed) since I very rarely go to the doctor. The health industry needs a drastic upheaval, but politicians are too weak to make positive change happen. The best thing you can do is not rely on shady politicians (in other words, every single politician; yes, even that one) or the backwards insurance industry. Get healthy. Use high deductible insurance as “catastrophe” insurance in case of an accident or something else major.

How do you move around and find affordable apartments / housing for 2 to 3 months in a foreign location? I mean, in a way that doesn’t just rely on the internet or craigslist.

Why the aversion to relying on the Internet? We live in an amazing time that makes our traveling lives immeasurably easier than just a few years ago.

I’ve found all of my apartments via the Internet, except in India where I found it in a guidebook. CouchSurfing.org, Craigslist.org (not my favorite, but it works), GumTree.com (where available; Europe, Asia, Australia), and Google searches for “short term apartment + [city]” will help you find what you need. In a pinch you can use something like AirBNB.com, but apartments there have been incredibly overpriced every time I’ve searched.

How can we as Freedom Fighters bridge the gaping holes in the education system so that future leaders and creators don’t fall through the cracks? I realize there are as many answers to this as there are people in the world, so this question is for everyone reading this. What do you think about it?

The educational system is horribly flawed. It is not there to create thought leaders, but to churn out numbers; cogs in the machine. What you can do is influence the younger generation through writing, speaking, and mentoring. You won’t reach everybody, but even if you only reach one youngster you will have changed someone’s world. The more often this happens the more amazing our future will become.

Please comment on travel and living from anywhere for a person who is sight impaired. Are accommodations for the disabled better or worse outside the USA?

Honestly I have no idea how well the world is accommodated to the sight impaired. That said, I’m sure there is lots of information out there if you ask around, specifically at organizations that you probably already have contacts with. Even though this is a horrible answer I’m hoping maybe somebody has more insight and will answer in the comments. :)

I’m not a travel virgin, but I’m getting ready to plan a couple of much bigger trips (1 solo across the country, and 1 overseas to Europe) and I was wondering how do you plan your trips?

Congrats on your upcoming voyages! I don’t plan much except where I’m flying into and possibly when I’m leaving. But even this depends on a lot of factors. For example, when I went to India last year it was to learn how to build a guitar. I knew I’d be there for at least those 3 weeks, but I planned on staying for approximately 3 months. I didn’t enjoy it very much so I left after 2 months and headed to Thailand. In Thailand I could only get a 30 day visitor on arrival visa and I didn’t want to keep doing border runs (I did one and it was a waste of a day), so I stayed for 40 days and went to Poland for 4 ½ months. If your trip is open-ended you should leave room for a lot of flexibility because you never know how you’ll feel about certain places.

Any advice for tackling sleep onset insomnia? The kind where your body is tired enough to fall asleep but your brain won’t shut off?

Interestingly, Tim Ferriss’s new book 4-Hour Body has a whole section on sleep onset insomnia. I used to have it as well. There are 2 things that helped me: I stopped being depressed and I started writing every day. I have one of those “won’t shut off” brains, but by consistently getting words out of my head and onto paper (or a computer) it has helped a lot.

What are your techniques for getting the basics of a new language down quickly? How do you adjust when you are in a new language situation? What successes have you had in language learning that can inspire others?

I don’t shoot for anything but the basics so there is no real strategy I use. There are a few things you should always learn: hello, thank you, please, goodbye, how much, where is the toilet. Once you’ve got that all down (it should take an hour or two) it’s all a matter of just getting out there and expanding as you see fit.

When I’m in a new language situation I use a lot of Traveler’s Sign Language along with the above words/phrases. TSL is universal and there’s no correct way to use it. Point and smile, point and smile. :)

I don’t think my language learning will ever inspire anybody. I took 2 years of Spanish in High School from a teacher who probably never left the United States and probably couldn’t hold a conversation in the language. I know approximately 27 Spanish words. As for Polish: I can speak fluently but that’s because I grew up with it and went back to Poland recently with the specific task of not sucking at speaking Polish anymore. I’ve always considered myself fluent, but it was always really slow and broken and awkward. It’s a lot better now, and I’m going to make regular trips back to Poland to keep me on my toes.

Personal – 11 Questions

How are you managing family relationships with the people that do not follow you around the world?

I have a small family and I haven’t lived near them in 7 years so I do what I’ve always done: phone or skype. I also visit at least once per year.

That said, as I recently wrote, relationships are the most difficult part of traveling.

How did you really feel after the Everything Matters post? And a couple of days after the whole TV discussion?

You’re assuming I felt differently than what I’ve previously expressed.

Those who got it, got it. Those who didn’t, didn’t. It’s really nothing more than that. I find it sad that people will defend their TV watching (TV is set up to keep you from reaching your dreams), but it doesn’t bother me because those are most likely not my right people. That said, my right people choose me, I don’t choose them. I might draw the line in the sand, but you choose which side you’d like to stand on. Or maybe you just say “fuck the line” altogether. :)

What do you regret? Or what are your thoughts on regret?

I don’t think about regrets. I do, however, think about “if I don’t do X then I’ll regret it.” In that way, I don’t create future regrets.

Do I have regrets? Sure, but it’s of no use thinking about them except to acknowledge that they were there. There is absolutely nothing you or I can do to change the past, so no sense in having any negative feelings (such as regret) about the past.

How do you take criticism or deal with criticism? How do you take it constructively and not let it get personal?

Great question with a fairly simple answer: I don’t read hater e-mails, comments or reviews. As soon as I get a comment or an e-mail that is hateful (it’s easy to spot) I delete it. I know the writer is sad or lonely or depressed and probably just needed to get something off their chest. They probably don’t feel any better after doing it and I’m sure not going to add fuel to the fire by responding or even reading. In other words, “fuck ’em.” ;)

I wasn’t always like this. I used to get really depressed with criticism until I realized it wasn’t a problem with me, it was a problem with them.

As an example, I was recently having a pleasant conversation with a cute girl at a bar. She said something insulting so I told her “you can go back to your friends now.” If you just read that it might make me sound like an asshole, but I just don’t have time to waste on personal attacks of any kind. You shouldn’t have time for them either. You can let certain people walk all over you or you can show them the door. The power is in your hands, not theirs. It’s your choice.

This also holds true if the criticism is coming from people close to you. You must stop associating with them. Avoid the unhappy and unlucky. Think you can’t do it? Read what Jennifer Gresham wrote in “Why I Fired My Father (And Maybe You Should Too)” about why she quit her relationship with her father.

You deserve positive, encouraging, inspiring, helpful people in your life. Don’t accept anything less.

In the Luxury of Less you mentioned that you had some depressive moments in your life back in the days. What has contributed to turning around this dark period of your life? When was the “click” moment that you felt that it was time to do something? Have some helped through this process or did you do all by yourself? What would you say to the ones that are living those hard moments right now?

My answer to this question changes every time I am asked. Mostly because it wasn’t any one thing. I knew I wasn’t going to kill myself because that was stupid to me, so I could either choose to be happy or choose to be depressed. Being depressed is no fun, being happy is fun. It was a simple choice when I boiled it down to its essence. If I had to pinpoint it then the “click” began when I started going out and meeting people through CouchSurfing. It was like “oh, wow, there are cool people out there who like me for me!” and we got along very well. In that way it was a group effort, but internally it was a solo effort.

If you’re living those hard moments right now I would say this:

1) Find something you love so much that you wouldn’t leave it by killing yourself. For me that was my cat Jessie, but it can be anything, even an inanimate object. Hell, even a TV show. :)

2) Get professional help. This was my mistake. If you’re on the brink right now, in the US you can call (800) 273-8255. We want you here.

3) Start slowly, but get out of your comfort zone. In Luxury of Less I talk about Solo Social Activities. Don’t be afraid to go out and do things that most people do in groups even if you don’t have a group to do them with. Learn to love spending time with yourself. An interesting thing happens when you do this: you’ll actually find people who love spending time with you as well.

Do you finish what you start?

Yes and no. Yes, if I want to. No, if I don’t. For example, if I’m reading a book and it hasn’t captivated me in the first 50 pages there is no way I will continue reading it. My time is too important to waste. If I’m working on a project that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere and I can see pushing through that dip isn’t worth it (sometimes it is worth pushing through the dip) then I quit.

So the question remains: how do you know if something is worth pushing through the dip? Well, Seth Godin wrote a whole book about this (The Dip), which I recommend you read. You intuitively know when you’re working on something that will change your world. And you also know when you’re working half-assed towards something. Either put your all into it or don’t bother. Otherwise you’re wasting your time and everybody else’s time as well.

One of the things that inspires me most about your lifestyle is the small number of possessions and clothing that you own/carry around with you. Which for me begs the question: what do you wear while you’re doing laundry?

Ha! Right now I have 4 shirts, 4 pairs of socks, and 4 underwear. So on Day 4 I do my laundry and I have clean stuff to wear on Day 5. When I wash my pants (not very often) I wear my shorts. It’s all very simple really. :)

I want to hear more about when you became vegan. What prompted the decision? Did you go vegetarian first? How old were you? What did/do your family and friends think?

What prompted the decision is knowing that I was ruining the world and myself by directly contributing to and supporting the torture and rape of animals simply so I could get fat and lazy at McDonald’s and Taco Bell and “that awesome local restaurant OMG!” I was first exposed to vegetarianism when I was 19 and dated a vegetarian. Since that time I began incorporating more vegetarian meals into my diet. I never liked cooking with meat so at home it wasn’t an issue. If I was out and about the raw meat was sight unseen so it was easier to deal with. Eventually, consciously thinking about what I was eating sickened me so much I couldn’t even do it when I was out at a restaurant. Yes, I went vegetarian first, for about 2 months. I was 27. My family/friends thought I was insane. Insanity is believing it’s OK to brutally kill (it’s never quick and painless, it is brutal, don’t fool yourself into believing otherwise) billions of living things when there are alternatives. I don’t expect most people to understand this because most people don’t live life on purpose. I’m actually working on something to inspire people to at least make the step to not eat animals 1 day every week. That’s so easy to do. While it may not have a massive impact, a small positive impact is better than no impact.

And because I get a followup question a lot: what about hunting? If you’re going to go out and kill your food in the wild (not canned hunts) like a conscious, sane, member of the ecosystem I don’t have an issue with that. If you’re human enough to kill/prepare/dress the meat (no cop outs, anybody can murder) like our ancestors then you deserve to eat it. Most people will never do this because it sickens them, and yet … ?

Do you meditate with a phrase? I like “May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.” I like this one a lot and it helps to center me. Do you have a phrase or mantra that helps you and could maybe help others?

I don’t meditate, but I hope for anybody who does they get something out of your mantra. :)

Did you find a way to deal with the scarcity mindset you described in this post and was it actively working towards the solution or just letting it go away?

Writing that post actually did the trick. :) In that way it was an active solution, but it was also realizing that every successful person deals with scarcity and resistance and tons of other mental blocks. It’s OK that you feel them. Let them be, let them pass, continue on your path.

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Whew! There we have it. Extraordinary Insights Volume 1. I enjoyed doing this and I hope you got a lot out of it. I’m thinking I will probably do something like this once or twice every year.

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11 Revolutionary Free Books That Changed The World

Words can change the world …

If you’ve read my book Luxury of Less (unavailable right now) you know I’ve been influenced by a little ancient text known as Go Rin no Sho (aka The Book of Five Rings) by Miyamoto Musashi. Since I’ve been having a lot of free time to read on the trains/buses here in Chicago I started re-reading it again and it gave me the idea for this list of freely available books that have positively affected many lives.

All of these books were written before you or I were born and you may have even read some of them. They have all heavily influenced our current society based on the simple fact that they influenced so many people in the past.

Rules when making this list:

1) The book has to be available for free in the public domain. I use the Stanza and Kindle apps on my iPod Touch to read these books and many others.

2) I had to have read it at some point in my life.

That means that hundreds, likely thousands, of great books aren’t fit for this list. That’s cool. If I’m missing a book you have read (not just heard of or read a few pages) please list it in the comments below with a link to the download. Only legal public domain books please.

The List

1) Go Rin no Sho (The Book of Five Rings) by Miyamoto Musashi

I don’t know where to start on this book. If I had to choose 5 books to take to a deserted island this would be one of them. It’s not often that I want to read a book over … and over … and over.

The Book of Five Rings is technically about Samurai strategy (in other words, how to kill people), but it’s much deeper than that.

Also available for your iPod Touch or other eBook reader for free here.

2) Walden by Henry David Thoreau

The ultimate guide to minimalism.

3) Tao Te Ching by Laozi

A very easy read. Influential and highly recommended.

4) On The Origin Of The Species by Charles Darwin

Back in 2009 while in Brisbane, QLD, Australia (loved that place; hoping for the best with the current flooding) I went to an exhibit at the museum called Charles Darwin: The Reluctant Revolutionary. It was fascinating and this book is his most well known, and most influential, work.

5) The Antichrist by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Nietzsche was an intense man. This book is not about Satan. ;) (You know, because there is no Satan.)

6) The Einstein Theory of Relativity by Hendrik Antoon Lorentz

How many times have you heard the Theory of Relativity mentioned throughout your life? Here is a version that normal people like me can understand a little better. :)

7) The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Way more influential worldwide than The Book of Five Rings, but I’m not as big a fan.

8) The Kama Sutra by Vatsyayana

This was available in every shop or street stall I passed in India. You’ve probably heard of it. ;)

9) The Art of Public Speaking by Dale Carnegie

Carnegie’s far more well-known book is How To Win Friends and Influence People. The Art of Public Speaking, however, was a greater help to me personally. I read it back in the days when I was a member of Toastmasters. Fun times. I want to do more public speaking and I feel like a re-read is in order.

10) The United States Constitution

This obviously isn’t a book. I’ve listed it here less because it’s life-changing, but more because I wonder how many citizens of the US have actually read it?

11) On the Duty of Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau

Thoreau appears twice on this list because he is just that much of a bad ass. I just finished reading Civil Disobedience a few days ago. Much like Walden it’s not the easiest read, but I enjoyed it.

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To find out if one of your favorite books is in the public domain check gutenberg.org or feedbooks.com. They’re not the end all and be all, but it’s a good start. Hit me with a public domain book that has positively influenced you or the world below …

Reflecting On The Past, Looking To The Future

A new year, a clean slate, looking back to look forward to live in the now …

Last year around this time I did an epic recap of my 2009 here at Ridiculously Extraordinary. I’m not going to do that this year. Instead, let’s talk a little bit about why recapping the year is cool, why looking forward is cool, but ultimately there is nothing like right now.

As Chris so eloquently stated right here, there is a lot of New Year’s Resolution bashing around this time.

The reason for that is, well, most resolutions are set like most goals are set. They’re vague, unmeasurable, and unfeeling. I talk a lot about this in Mind Control Method. Listen, I want to get more fit, be a better person, and save more kitties this year just like anybody, but without something measurable or without feeling behind these goals they just won’t happen.

That’s not being negative, that’s being truthful; honest with myself. We could use a lot more honesty with ourselves and with others, don’t you think?

How do you hold yourself accountable to being a better person anyway?

Conscious Reflection

One great way to look forward and set a good goal (or whatever you’d like to call it) is to look back. Conscious reflection, as long as it’s not all-consuming (meaning you’re living in the past), is important.

It doesn’t have to be complicated. You can learn a lot by asking yourself just two questions:

  1. What were your goals in the past year?
  2. Which goals did you reach and why?

If you’d like to get a little more involved in your reflection you can break down the “why” more thoroughly.

I did mostly ungoal goal setting this year. What I mean is, there were some things I wanted to experience, and I experienced all of them. I also had one Most Important Goal (I discuss the MIG concept in MCM), which I did reach.

You already know or have seen me accomplish what I wanted to accomplish this year. I learned how to build a guitar, I learned how to speak Polish without constantly fumbling for words, I learned that staying everywhere I travel for 1+ months is my ideal form of travel, and business-wise, I focused solely on what’s going on here at Ridiculously Extraordinary. (I haven’t done taxes yet, but RE did very well this year, way better than I would have imagined had I set an income goal.)

That’s not to say I didn’t do anything wrong this year that I can learn from. But all in all, 2010 has been my favorite year. This is cool, because 2006 and 2007 were my least favorite years. Being on the upward curve, and more importantly, feeling in control of the curve, is a good place to be.

The things that went wrong this year were not catastrophic. Actually, what I learned is that absolutely nothing is catastrophic. Nothing.

And the things that went right were outstanding. What I learned is that we can’t make epicly memorable events happen. We can only guide them, point them in the right direction. What happens will happen and enjoying the process is part of the fun.

What do you do if this was your least favorite year? Well, since you’re still alive and reading this, that’s not a horrible position to be in. If it was your least favorite it probably won’t be difficult to make next year better, even if next year might not be your most favorite year.

An Important Question of Time

More than any goal or resolution, I like to focus on “what am I doing to make the coming year better?”

I didn’t try to make this year my favorite year, I just focused on making it better than the previous year. It’s a bit of a Kaizen approach. Small, consistent improvement equals massive improvement over time.

The beauty with this approach is that it forces you to look at right now. What’s happening now? What am I doing now to make my day great? If I have a great day, it’s only natural that I can have a great week, then a great month, and finally a great year.

If this year wasn’t so great, don’t reflect too much on the bad. Know that you will make the coming year better if you focus on that. And if this year was amazing for you, here’s to continuing on the upward curve …

The Future of Giving

Giving a very small amount directly to someone who needs it results in massive impact …

A few years ago and a few days before Christmas I was at a thrift store on Gratiot Ave looking at old records. Old records make good gifts for people who like old records. ;)

I saw an older lady, maybe about 70, who looked very frazzled. You know how sometimes when you see someone you can just feel that they could use a little help? Specifically monetary help. I’m not going to assume everybody who’s doing their Christmas shopping at a thrift store needs help, but I felt compelled to do something in this particular situation. I opened my wallet as I walked towards her, took out a $100 bill, and as I gave her the bill said “I’m supposed to give this to you.” I wasn’t sure what to say exactly and that’s the first thing that came to mind. What do you say to someone when you’re giving them money without coming across as condescending or “I’m better than you”?

She was obviously very thankful. To be honest, I don’t know how much that $100 helped her. I think it probably did since if you take a random sampling of people at any time of the year $100 will probably help the majority of them.

Since that time I mostly stopped giving to large charities. It’s not that I have a problem with giving to large charities, but without seeing the direct impact of my giving it’s difficult to feel it. If you give someone even just $1 when they’re short at the grocery store you can see and feel the direct impact. That’s a lot more fun and in line with how I’d like to align my life.

I can’t say I go around all day handing out wads of cash. I do it when the opportunity presents itself, but how often do these opportunities present themselves?

In other words, how often are we present enough to notice when someone else is struggling? Usually when we’re out we’re too caught up in what’s happening with ourselves and our grocery lists and our cell phones to notice. We’re generally lazy like that. That said, now that you’ve read this I have a feeling you’ll be a little more aware when you’re out and about.

Marc Gold, My New Hero

I don’t know Marc Gold, but he’s a new hero. I just read about him and his 100 Friends project a few days ago. You should read that site to get the whole story, but essentially Marc spends a few months every year raising money which he then takes directly to Third World countries to help people in need. He gives small amounts that make massive impact. A dental visit. A wheelchair. Fixing a broken rickshaw.

Each one of us has the power to change a life. You have the power to change someone’s life. It doesn’t take much.

Microfinance and The Future of Giving

And this is why I like the idea of micro finance, small giving directly to people who need it. I’ve been a member of Kiva.org since October of 2007. Through Kiva I get a similar feeling as what I felt during Christmastime at the thrift store on Gratiot Ave, but I get it far more often because Kiva gives me ready access to people who need just a little bit.

The Kiva Lending Team I started on March 4, 2010 has already loaned $11,925 to entrepreneurs around the world. We’ve got 30 fantastic members who have made a total of 110 loans so far and I’d love for you to be a part of that team as well. Click here to check out our Team.

I’ve received a few e-mails about Kiva and how it works, how I choose who to loan to, and how to make sure I loan to someone who will actually pay back.

The way Kiva works is that you give an interest free loan to someone in need. Over time, they pay it back. Technically you lose money due to inflation, but as money is paid back you’re able to reloan it over and over. $25 can be reloaned for the rest of your life and affect the lives of literally thousands of people over time.

There is, of course, the risk that your money will never be paid back. The current repayment rate (which can be found here) is 98.91%, meaning 1.09% of loans aren’t paid back. So far every loan I have made is either in the process of being repaid or has been fully repaid.

How To Choose A Loan

Kiva allows you to choose your loans by many factors. Male/Female, specific regions, certain industries.

I don’t focus on anything except industries. Male/female/country/age and superficial things like that don’t matter. I focus on the business aspect of the loan. In my entrepreneurial mind there are a few business that will always be in need. Services (such as auto repair), transportation (taxis), and food (stores and farms). I don’t loan to any food places that sell or slaughter animals, but I do loan to general stores.

Once I’ve selected an industry I click on a few of the available loans. My first point of interest is the Field Partner (the organization out in the field who actually gives the loan). I want to know how long they’ve been on Kiva, how many loans they’ve given out, and, most importantly, what their default rate is. If the default rate (the percentage of loans that aren’t paid back) is anything other than 0% I move on to a different loan. Let other people take that risk.

If the default rate is 0% I read about the entrepreneur, why they’re looking for a loan, how long they expect it to take to pay back, and my general feeling towards them. If the payment term is anything longer than 12 months my feeling is that they’re asking for more loan than they need and I move on. In a few cases, based on the story, I have given loans with longer than 12 month payment terms, but I generally stick to this rule.

If I like their story and everything else is good I go ahead and loan. The allowable loan is as little as $25, but depending on how I feel, I’ve given upwards of $250. Most often I give $25. In my mind it’s more fun having a few dozen people give $25 each to help one person than just a single loaner giving the whole amount.

The Future of Giving Isn’t Only About Microfinance

While giving small amounts of cash is cool, the reality is the future of giving is helping in seemingly small ways that have a direct impact.

Maybe there’s a hungry stray kitty who hangs around your house? You don’t have to take it in, but for $50 you could get it spayed/neutered and help control the exponentially growing homeless pet population.

Or maybe you live in a freezing cold place and can put up a small bird feeder to help the birds that didn’t head south for the Winter actually make it through the deep freezes?

Or maybe you consistently see a guy on a street corner begging for change or food? How many of us stop and actually give a sandwich? It’s not a massive gift, but it helps.

It doesn’t take a lot to change a life. Marc Gold has proven that, Kiva has proven that, and I hope I’ve proven that as well.

You can get started giving by simply sharing this article with one person via e-mail, or sharing it on your Facebook or twitter. The more people who realize how powerful small giving can be the more powerful small giving will be …

One Compelling Reason To Change The World

You only need one compelling reason to make massive change in your life …

The title of this article might be a little bit misleading so let me clarify: if you want to do anything that’s important to you, something that will change your world, you need just one compelling reason.

As you may know I strongly dislike cold weather. I also strongly dislike constantly saying how much I dislike cold weather. :)

I’ve written many times that I refuse to travel to cold destinations (except to Michigan for the holidays) because there are a few lifetime’s worth of warm weather places to visit. Why waste my time in place that make me decidedly miserable? Doing something that makes one miserable is something only fools do. Unless …

Cold Weather and Compelling Reasons

Unless you have a compelling reason to visit your cold weather destination it will be an insurmountable (or miserable) hurdle. (Cold weather can be anything for you. Hot weather. Rainy weather. Rocky geography. A certain state. A particular restaurant. Etc. Etc. Etc.)

I’ve decided my next mission, from January 2 – March 11, will be in a very cold weather destination. It’s not even an “exotic” cold weather destination like Stockholm or Oslo or Antarctica.

Nope.

I’m heading to the land of the Magnificent Mile. The Field Museum. Millenium Park. Chicago Diner. Soldier Field. Navy Pier. The former Sears Tower. Monkey Bar Gym.

Monkey Bar Gym?

Yes, Monkey Bar Gym. For the purposes of this article: my compelling reason.

The specific compelling reason is vegan fitness bad ass Jon Hinds.

I first heard about Jon Hinds about 4 years ago when I purchased jump ropes from LifeLine USA, the company he runs with his father. If you look at my ultra light packing list you can see I travel with the LifeLine USA speed rope. When I learned Jon was vegan and that he did training with high level athletes I was immediately intrigued. I put “train with Jon Hinds in Madison, WI” on my things to do.

But Madison, WI?

My thoughts: “Why would I ever want to move to Madison? What’s in Madison? I don’t want to move back to the midwest. Nah, I’ll just put this off.”

We all put things off, no matter how much we lie to ourselves that we want to do something. The important thing I’ve learned is not to force it. I follow my heart and inspiration. I wasn’t ever in a proper frame of mind to drop everything and go to Madison to train with a vegan fitness trainer, no matter how well respected he was/is.

That is until my Brazil plans starting falling apart a bit. See, I originally planned on heading to Brazil for multiple reasons.

  1. It’s warm. (Good, but not compelling reason.)
  2. I’ve been wanting to visit the Amazon since I was in 3rd grade and my class did a month-long assignment on Brazil. (Good, but not compelling reason.)
  3. I wanted to bike Route 66 in the US in 2011 and I needed a warm place to train. Curitiba, Brazil is on many lists as a very bike friendly city so I chose that. (Compelling reason!)

But when I knew I wouldn’t do the Route 66 trip in 2011 I had a feeling Brazil would fall apart. I just didn’t have a compelling reason to go there.

A List of Compelling Reasons (or How I Changed My World This Year)

Let’s break down the compelling reasons for me to visit every place I’ve visited this year.

Baga Beach, Goa, India

Chiang Mai, Thailand

  • Consistently shows up in lists of the top vegetarian cities in the world. I needed to see what that meant with my own two eyes and my thousands of taste buds.

Wroclaw, Poland

  • I was born in Poland and wanted to experience the city my Parents grew up in as a real resident instead of just a passerby. I was also incredibly embarrassed by my lackluster Polish and wanted to learn the language better. (Success on both counts, I believe!)

Austin, TX

Metro Detroit, MI

  • Holidays + Family

Chicago, IL

  • I contacted Jon Hinds and asked him whether he is training people anywhere. I was fully ready to move to Madison and even began searching for apartments. But Jon replied that he’s moving to Chicago and opening a branch of the gym there. Boom! Next destination settled with compelling reason in place. I’ve already registered for the Jan 10 – March 10 60 Day Challenge and put down a deposit on a Gold Coast apartment.

Running Blind vs Tunnel Vision

When most people set goals they set empty goals devoid of emotion or experience. If you’ve read much of my work you know I don’t believe in specific goals. I believe in specific experiential goals. A specific goal is good and provides some direction. A specific experiential goal provides tunnel vision and a compelling reason.

Which of the following goals is better?

Goal 1: I will earn $250,000 this year.

or

Goal 2: I will earn $250,000 this year so I can indulge in my childhood dreams and become one of the first civilians to take a trip to space.

Goal 2 is immeasurably better. And while that might not be a compelling enough reason for you to earn $250,000 this year it’s much more tangible than “I want to earn $250,000 this year just because.”

I’m willing to bet that the very large majority of people who set specific (but not experiential) goals don’t ever reach them. This holds true for the people I personally know. The people I personally know also kick ass when they set specific experiential goals. An experience gives you something to work towards and it involves your emotions which are very powerful motivating factors.

What’s Your Compelling Reason?

Do you have something you want to accomplish? What’s your compelling reason? Without it you’re running blind and you’re setting yourself up for quitting or failure.

If you’d like, share your compelling reason(s) in the comments below.

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The Little White Book Of Life, Lies, and Love

About a girl. About a life. About everything …

I hated school. I hated work. I hated boredom. I had no interest. I had a happy childhood. There was school, adolescence, growing up, questions about the future. I was twenty-one. I had no dream.

I dropped in and out of college. After three years I wasn’t going back.

Students sat on lawns, drank coffee, held books, discussed ideas, wore expensive sandals and footwear. Professors taught classes on campus greens. Students basked in youth, in the fine times of college. I was told I’d meet my friends for life in college.

Everywhere people smoked, sat on wide steps of academic buildings, enjoyed the outdoors together, like people in glossy-paged catalogues.

I hated college atmosphere.

I left college for the last time as impulsively as ever – free and happy – like I had a bottomless pocket of money, fully funded, like my lungs were fresh and I could still run a mile in under six minutes.

Cars passed slow with the wind brushing up my hair. I listened to the dusty dirt on the bottoms of my new leather shoes. I felt slow like a fish underwater, like a soft cloud pulled along.

I was content to be slow, away from the vague traps between cause and effect.

Birds made noise along the roadsides, up high in the light-green pine needles. I smelled the sandy heat. When I closed my eyes I believed I had a grand future; I had no problems; the past didn’t matter.

I was going to make my life an adventure.

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A few days ago I was at Book People in Austin, TX and stumbled upon a small white display of 4 white books. When I say white book I mean the cover is completely white, no title, no author, no publisher, no copyright. 200 pages of text. $5.

I immediately picked it up and went to check out. The checkout girl made a comment. “This book confuses me every time I stock it. I don’t know where or how to put it, but it appeals to my teenage anarchist younger years.”

I thought that was funny. Mostly because it’s obvious she didn’t read it. Even so, she was drawn to the book in some way.

That’s on purpose. It’s mysterious. No author, no design, it’s cheap. While I’m sure there is a little profit in the $5 for the author, it can’t be much. The lack of cover is meant to draw people in. The first page (reprinted above with “permission”) is meant to draw people in.

It obviously drew me in.

I still can’t fully figure out what the book is about. It’s about a man who is lost yet found. He knows where he is, but doesn’t know where he’s going. It’s about sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. It’s about travel. It’s about finding your own way within a system that wants you to comply to their way.

It’s about consumerism. It’s about minimalism. It’s about alcoholism. It’s about a lot of isms.

It’s scattered, it’s plotless, it’s completely incomplete. It has no defined beginning and no known ending. But that’s life, isn’t it?

If you’re a fan of Catcher In The Rye (I am) or On The Road (I’m not) or Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas (awesome) I think this book will appeal to you.

In some ways I feel like I’ve been fooled into some kind of sick mass control by writing about this little white book. Like it’s a trick played by some evil corporation or government. It answers no questions and and yet it answers them all. What more could I ask for?

The book is called Manifesto. You can’t buy it anywhere. But you can buy it somewhere. Enjoy. ;)

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I’m in Michigan! This Monday I’m posting about my next (frigid) destination, where I will be residing from Jan 2 – March 11. But more than that I’ll write about compelling reasons and why we need them to accomplish anything important. Subscribe to the RSS, follow me on twitter, or Like the facebook page so you don’t miss this update.

How To Stop Negative Influence Dead In Its Tracks

Positive influence is good. Here’s how to stay on course in the face of influence …

In the regular course of your day you’re bombarded with messages and propaganda from other people. Print media, radio, TV, blogs, movies, friends, acquaintances, the guy on the corner on his soapbox screaming into a megaphone. (Really, how effective is that? Come on guy with the megaphone.)

Someone asked me recently how I keep my eyes on the prize when so many people are trying to influence me with their point of view.

It’s really pretty simple. Although I’m confident in my ways I’m open to other ideas. I don’t shun influence. It can be a good thing. Hell, if it wasn’t for influence I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today. Starting this blog was heavily influenced by Chris, Cody, and Tim.

Positive influence is good. Even when I don’t agree I welcome opinions and ideas from people I respect. And that’s key. Respect.

So the real goal is to keep negative influence out of your life.

Here’s how to do that:

  1. Take a few minutes and write down what you value. What is important to you? Morally and otherwise. Write down what you think and how you feel about controversial and mundane topics alike. It helps to write this stuff down so when you’re confronted on your views you’re clear in what you believe.
  2. When you’re confronted with someone who has opposing or different views, don’t react right away. Ask yourself if it’s coming from a place of love and respect or is it maybe coming from a place of “I don’t care what you think, you’re wrong, it’s my way or no way.”

You might almost think that because of the way I approach certain topics I’m contradicting myself here. Even when it sounds like a “it’s my way or no way” situation it truly is because I want you to feel it when something has positively affected my life. Vegansim, no TV, minimalism, whatever the case may be. It’s impossible to state how important those things are until you’ve attempted them. I only know because I was on the direct opposite side of the issue on all of them at one point in my life. I thought vegans were crazy and I ate meat every day. I thought TV was OK and I literally left mine on for 12 hours/day. I thought owning stuff was important and I owned a lot.

Who has your best interests at heart?

You do. Nobody else ever totally has your best interests at heart. If they say they do, they’re lying. When someone is trying to influence you it’s because they have a foot on the court, a ball in the game. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing, it’s just the truth. Yes, I want to positively influence you. And yes, that benefits me.

The more people who subscribe to my RSS feed, join the Freedom Fighters, or Like my facebook page, the more people I get to interact with who are similar to me. Geographically speaking it’s not easy to find a whole lot of people similar to us. But spread out across the whole world there are many. If you’re part of this movement it benefits you to spread the message because you get to interact with all of these wonderful people. And that’s how we’re growing this massive, positively influential, community.

I don’t talk about numbers here much, but we’re closing in on 7,000 total subscribers and that’s really kick ass.

Thank you for doing what you do, being who you are, and spreading the message far and wide.

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My friend Tyler has a course coming out tomorrow called Guerrilla Influence Formula all about how to use your influence as a force for good. It’s a really solid course and comes with a 1,000 subscriber guarantee. (In other words, if you follow what Tyler writes about you’ll gain at least 1,000 subscribers to your website/blog/cause or you get your money back.)

Side note: Tyler interviewed me for the course.

Bonus side note: buy through this link, forward me your receipt (and your mailing address), and I’ll mail you a copy of my favorite business book (#1 on my list) that is perfectly complementary to Tyler’s course. That book, of course, is Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr Robert Cialdini. (I’ll ship to anywhere in the US or Canada. Live somewhere else? Get in touch and I’ll figure something else out for you.)

The Other 99%

You can skate through life like the 99% or you can do this …

In a few paragraphs I’m going to tell you a story about why 99% of society fails. It has to do with challenges and speaking up and being you.

I get a lot of positive reaction on this blog. I get some negative reaction as well. I welcome it all.

Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you disagree. Tell me I’m going about something incorrectly.

I respect being challenged. (But back it up.)

The truth is I want to be wrong. I want to be challenged. It’s the only way I’ll grow.

You should feel the same.

You don’t form strong opinions without being challenged.

You don’t do anything of value without plowing past challenges.

Challenge me, challenge yourself, challenge everybody.

Ruffling Feathers and Speaking Your Mind

A lot of people seem to be too afraid to state their opinions for fear of ruffling feathers. While diplomacy is all well and good in certain instances, if you don’t speak your mind and stand your ground regularly you turn into a number. You’re not a number, so don’t act like it.

7 years ago I was in a marketing class at Wayne State University (I wouldn’t recommend it; the class or the school). My teacher, who ran a small Web design company, was “teaching” us about Internet marketing. Little did she know what I did for a living. :) Anyway, she started talking about Pay Per Click (Google Adwords) and stated “Don’t bother with this if you’re a small business. It doesn’t work. It’s too expensive. It’s only for big businesses.”

I hate arguing. It’s completely useless. (Life Lesson #8)

But I had to say something. (Which is sometimes a good sign that you’re in a situation that won’t turn out well.)

So I spoke up in this massive, useless, class of 50+ students.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I use Adwords profitably every day. Do I look like Coca Cola?”

(I know, I was an asshole, but I was steaming at the toxic information she was spewing and I didn’t know how to handle it.)

“Impossible, it’s only for big businesses,” was her ignorant response.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. How did you get this job? You are giving all of these people, who are already brainwashed by this system, sadly incorrect information.” (I left out the brainwashed part, although it was true then and and it’s true now.)

Then another student spoke up: “Hey, be quiet. We just want to get this class over with.”

My first instinct was to stand up and choke slam the dude. (I used to have a temper. haha)

Instead, I gave up. “Whatever.” This was a losing battle with losers who had nothing more to lose. They had already given up on life as far as I was concerned. No good could come from dealing with these people.

This situation reinforced what I already knew: not only do I not belong with 99% of society, I do not want to belong.

99% of the world doesn’t care. They don’t want opinions. They don’t want challenges. They just want to skate through life with as little friction as possible.

You can be like the 99% if you want.

Or you can ask yourself, “What challenges will I take on today?”