Category: Life

I ended my last article with the question “What if none of it matters?”

I originally intended on ending it with “What if everything matters?” but I had a feeling I’d get more interesting responses if I ended it the way I did.

The truth is, as Life Lesson #38 says: nothing is trivial.

In other words, everything matters.

What you ate for breakfast matters. How much you exercise matters. The fact that you’re reading this right now matters. “Oh just one more [insert indulgence] can’t hurt” matters.

When I was younger I didn’t think very much mattered. Mostly I just didn’t care. I didn’t care whether someone died or whether someone won the lottery or whether someone was sick or how I felt or what I ate or what I did. I pretended I cared. I tried to act like I cared. But mostly all you’d get from me was flesh, no feeling.

… there is an idea of Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. – Patrick Bateman in American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

It’s hard to pin down the turning point (my answer always changes) of when I began to genuinely care so I won’t make an attempt right now, but some of it stems from finally realizing what’s important.

Imperfection and Importance

We’re imperfect creatures so just because everything matters that doesn’t mean that everything we do is important.

There is a lot I do that’s seemingly not important at all. Is figuring out how to play Paparazzi by Lady Gaga on the guitar important in any way whatsoever? Not really. It doesn’t stretch my guitar playing abilities (it’s basically 5 total chords) but I think it’s funny, it’s silly, and it makes me smile. And you already know there is a lot of power in a smile. I can live with this. More than that, I love this. But if I spent all my waking hours learning how to play silly pop songs that would be a problem.

The 4 Stages of Importance

Importance can be broken down fairly simply into four stages. It’s not always black and white. There are definitely some gray areas, but this is a generally good break down.

Unimportant but beneficial

I would categorize silly pop song learning as unimportant but beneficial because having fun is essential to life.

Unimportant and not beneficial

This would be something like watching TV. But more than just watching TV, it’s being obsessed with a TV show. Recently someone told me they couldn’t wait to sit down and watch all of Dexter Season 4. “Rita died! I don’t know who killed her.”

“Wait a second, let me look it up and tell you and save you some time.” I joked.

“Nooooo!” and said person actually began crying.

I wouldn’t actually spoil someone’s life like this. I understand people will grasp at whatever they can when life sucks. But this situation was very sick, and very sad.

Important but not beneficial

This is a tough one. You could say paying taxes, for example, is important but not beneficial. You could say saving for retirement is important, but not beneficial. You could say having insurance is important, but not beneficial. A lot of this depends on who you ask.

Important and beneficial

Just like the other stages of importance important and beneficial is subjective, but I think it’s easier to determine than the other stages. I would say writing this blog is important and beneficial. I’m sure you could also make an argument that it’s neither. You’d be right. And so would I.

Important and beneficial means important and beneficial to you. This blog is important to me because I love writing and it’s fun connecting with people all around the world. It’s beneficial because I learn a lot from you and I hope you learn a little bit from me as well. See how that works? :)

The goal is to do more important and beneficial stuff.

Obviously everything you do won’t fall into this category. That’s OK. But you have a lot of choice in this matter.

For example, you could choose to watch Season 4 of Dexter or learn how to create a web series.

Both are media-related.

Both make an impact in some way.

But watching a TV show will make a mostly negative impact while learning how to create a web series will make a positive impact.

There is no tangible benefit to watching a TV show besides “vegging out.” It’s difficult to even consider this a tangible benefit. Vegging out is much different than, and not to be confused with, relaxation. Watching TV is not relaxing. Maybe you’ve forgotten how to relax? (Don’t worry, happens to everybody.)

Learning how to create a web series has unlimited potential. The fact is you might not do anything with that potential, and in that case, it matters just as much as watching a TV show. But the potential is there. The choice of what you’ll do with that potential is, as always, yours.

But What Truly Matters If Everything Matters?

Well, everything! Everything truly matters. Everything you’ve done, seen, touched, and experienced has shaped who you are. Everything you’re currently experiencing is shaping who you will be.

“I don’t understand, how can everything matter? You just went on yet another diatribe about how TV is a waste of time, how does TV matter?”

It matters because it shapes you. Something doesn’t have to be important for it to shape you.

When I say TV is a waste of time it doesn’t come from a place of judgement. If you need to watch 5 hours of TV every day, that’s cool. Although I would wonder why you’re reading this site. And if watching 5 hours of TV every day is not important to you, but you’re doing it anyway, why are you being a wuss? :)

Or maybe you want to smoke weed, drop acid, and eat cheetos. I’m not saying you should, I’m just saying it matters, because everything matters. History has proven there are lots of incredibly talented and smart people who have dabbled in mind-altering substances. The late Richard Feynman anybody? (BTW, if you’ve never read Surely You’re Joking Mr Feynman it’s a must read.)

Tangent: The difference between a pothead and Mr Feynman is vast. But I don’t have to point that out, do I? :)

The Big Question

Nope, it’s not “what is the meaning of life?” That’s too easy. ;)

The big question is:

If everything matters, how often are you going to choose to do what’s important and beneficial?

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Note: this article has resulted in more hate mail than I’ve ever received. I don’t need to know why you unsubscribed. We’re just not right people. It’s all good. I also don’t need to know why you love TV. It’s a dead horse and not even the real point of this article. Please read *all* the comments before making a new comment about TV. Thanks my loves!

We’re well into 2011 and you may have already quit on your goals like most people do. But if you’re thinking about resurrecting those goals, setting new goals, accomplishing great things, and just generally kicking ass at life then you’ve come to the right place.

Since the age of 8 I have consistently gotten exactly what I wanted. While some would say I’m lucky or tell me things “just come to me” that’s not true.

There is no such thing as luck and nothing “just comes” to me.

If you’ve read any stories (or books) written by successful people (in business and in life) you’ll find a common theme among them: systems. The reason I get what I want is that I have systems in place to make things happen.

One of many definitions for system is: “An organized and coordinated method; a procedure.”

An organized and coordinated method.

My system for getting exactly what I want is called the Mind Control Method.

I have been using the Mind Control Method, at first accidentally and then consciously, for 21 years now. I’ve refined it for 21 years. I’ve tested against it for 21 years. And I didn’t tell a single soul about it until I mentioned it here on this blog late last year.

How To Get What You Want

There are many ways to get what you want.

None of them involve vision boards or the “law” (haha, come on) of attraction.

If you believe you’ll manifest money, a new car, a relationship, or anything else out of thin air then you probably also believe horses and dogs speak to “chosen people” telepathically. In which case, I can’t help you. Nobody can.

The reason these “laws” sell so successfully is because they’re sold as magic pills and the majority of the public would rather take a magic pill than actually put their success on their own shoulders.

The Truth About Manifestation

The reason these “laws” work sometimes is due to coincidence. To put it plainly: A sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged.

If you’ve ever manifested anything you can thank coincidence instead of your vision board. Pretty sweet, huh? You could have saved time poring over magazines and cutting out clippings to paste on your board and you still would have gotten whatever you “manifested”!

Personally, I like systems and methods much better. The reason is simple. If you follow a system or method you’re actually doing something, making things happen.

Introducing: The Mind Control Method Course

Today I’m releasing the Mind Control Method course for exactly 24 hours.

The focal point of the Mind Control Method course is writing a Mind Control Method Letter. This Letter is what I have used for 21 years to get exactly what I want. I’ll take you through the process of writing your own Mind Control Method Letter to help you get what you want as well.

The Mind Control Method course isn’t so much an eBook as it is a workshop that you can do on your own time. Mind Control Method isn’t intended for just a quick read-through. It consists of one 37 page to-the-point main guide (in Adobe PDF format) and 5 MP3s (listenable on any computer or device that can play MP3s).

What Exactly Is Mind Control Method?

This isn’t about controlling other people’s minds. This is my system for controlling my own mind. It’s a form of mental conditioning that so many of us need these days.

Mind Control Method will help you:

– Make great things happen by choosing very specific, actionable goals. (The only kind of goals worth setting.)

– Clear your mind of all the cobwebs that keep you from reaching your goals.

– Focus on the important, instead of wasting time on the irrelevant.

– Destroy limiting beliefs that keep you from living your dreams.

– Realize why you already have what you need to succeed, you just haven’t let it out yet.

Warning: Mind Control Method Isn’t For Everybody!

Who is it not for?

• If you believe you can manifest things out of thin air then, as I already mentioned, I can’t help you. Mind Control Method can’t help you.
• If you’re not interested in taking action to make phenomenal things happen in your life then Mind Control Method isn’t for you. There are no magic pills and I’m not going to lie to you and say this is a magic pill or “secret.”

Who is it for?

• If you’ve been duped by the “laws” and vision boards and all of that garbage then Mind Control Method is for you. You know as well as I do that there is no such thing as laws or secrets. It’s all about systems and methods. If that sounds like you, then Mind Control Method will help you get what you want.
• If you’re interested in learning the system I’ve used for 21 years to get what I want, Mind Control Method is for you.
• If you’re ready to kick ass and make amazing things happen in your life, Mind Control Method is for you.

What Do You Get?

The Mind Control Method is an instantly downloadable course, or as I like to call it, workshop.

If you pick it up today you will get:

• 37 page Mind Control Method guide in Adobe PDF format. (Viewable on any computer and many handheld devices.)
• 5 MP3 audios further explaining certain aspects of the Mind Control Method. (Listenable on any computer and many handheld devices.)
• 1 Mind Control Method Letter review done personally by me. I currently charge $1,000 for personal consultations, but you get this review included in the Mind Control Method course for nowhere near that price! (Conservatively, this review is worth 30 minutes of my time, or $125.)

You get all of that for just $47.

The 60 Day Love It Or Leave It Guarantee

I’m going to make this very simple. You either love Mind Control Method or you don’t. If you don’t then I don’t want your money. I want you to come away from this experience in a positive light so if you’re not happy with Mind Control Method just send me an e-mail and I’ll get you squared away. No questions asked, no guilt trips, either you’re happy or you don’t pay. :)

With Love and Ass-Kickery,

I’ve had a lot of people ask me about “revelations” or “a-ha moments” or “breakthroughs” in regards to travel, business, and life.

I talked about this with Baker last year but it’s time for a refresher.

If we set out to do anything with the intention of looking for a breakthrough you know what happens? We don’t enjoy the process. And worse, we end up disappointed when the breakthrough we were looking for doesn’t happen.

So let me rephrase: breakthroughs are not bullshit. Searching, waiting, wishing, and hoping for breakthroughs is bullshit.

A lot of us get caught up in this trap.

I liken waiting for a breakthrough to playing the lottery. Yeah, it could happen. But I like to make things happen instead of leaving things up to chance.

You want breakthroughs?

Fine.

1. Stop watching TV.
2. Stop reading the news.
3. Stop reading blogs.
4. Stop being like everyone else.
5. Do something out of this world.

I get a lot of e-mails, most of which fall into 2 camps.

Camp #1: Sob stories and excuses.

Listen, we all have problems. Every single person in the world has 84 problems. (Contrary to what Ice T and Jay Z tell us.)

I know life can suck. I’ve been there. But you know what? Talking about it, complaining about it, and tell people about it does nothing for you. It magnifies your problems and makes you feel even worse.

Camp #2:  Action plans and epic shit.

A great example of action plans and epic shit is happening right now. Satya Colombo e-mailed me about a month ago asking if I’d be involved in something he put together called the Freedom Business Summit. 12 entrepreneurs sharing their philosophies and strategies for success.

I had never heard of or spoken to Satya before. Not a single interaction that I can remember.

Yet I immediately said “Yes, I’d be happy to be a part of it.”

So did Chris Guillebeau, Danielle LaPorte, Leo Babauta, Everett Bogue, Gwen Bell, Corbett Barr, Tammy Strobel, Johnny B. Truant, Mark Silver, Charlie Gilkey, and Mary Jaksch.

He got all of those amazing people together because instead of dreaming, complaining, making excuses, or waiting for a breakthrough Satya took action. He looked rejection in the face and told it to piss off.

I want you to do the same.

Although you might not know it or feel it right now, you have my full support to blow people’s minds. :)

When people think about change, many times they’re gripped with fear because they future-think. Do you future-think? It goes like this …

– “If I quit eating tortured, raped, and brutally slaughtered animals today (the food you’ll eat for lunch), what will happen in 3 years when I’m hiking through the forest?”

– “If I quit smoking today, what will happen if I start again next week?”

– “If I stop drinking soda, what will I drink with dinner?”

– “If I quit my job and travel the world, what happens if I get tired of traveling?”

– “If I go on a date with this girl (or guy) what if it’s boring?”

– “If I stop hanging out with my toxic friend, who will I hang out with?”

– “If I start a blog today, what if it’s not popular in a year?”

– “If I say “yes” more instead of “no” what will happen with my free time?”

– “If I begin a workout program, what if I don’t lose enough weight?”

Or whatever.

All of this “if-ery” only results in one action: no action.

How To Embrace Change

How about this? Do what you need to do, today.

Tomorrow is another day. And you haven’t lived it yet. So don’t think about it yet.

“But it’s not that easy.”

Yes, it is.

Can you stop eating meat for this minute? Yes. Cool. How about just for one meal? Yes? Cool. How about just for one day? Yes? Fantastic! Now whenever it’s time to eat ask yourself that again.

Can you stop smoking this minute? Yes? Cool. Can you get through the rest of the day? I think you can. What can you do in place of smoking the next time you have a craving?

If you don’t think you can make change happen I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. We’re amazing creatures and we can accomplish great things, but sometimes we talk ourselves out of doing epic shit.

Stop talking …

There are times in life when you may want to connect with somebody more “famous” than you. I mean famous relatively speaking. It could be a blogger, business person, government official, or even maybe just the hot girl/guy you see regularly at your local coffee shop.

The first thing you have to remember when you want to connect with anybody you admire is that we’re all human. You, me, and that person you want to connect with. Huge revelation, huh? ;) Lesson #1: treat people like people, not like gods.

Whether you believe it or not, everybody is your peer. Don’t act like a fanboy. Praise is OK, but don’t fawn/obsess. It’s weird, it’s creepy, and it won’t get you anywhere. (Except the brush off.)

I can’t think of a single instance in my life where I’ve connected with someone by supplicating. Again, praise is OK, but don’t go over the top. Treat people like friends. What would you say to a friend who wrote a great book or song or something of that sort?

“OMG! You are so awesome! You’re the best! I love that book. What’s your favorite color? Do you like cookies?! Want to hang out? Huh? Huh? Huh?”

Probably not. :)

If it was a friend you’d treat them normally. (I’m not saying you shouldn’t tell your friends when they do something you think is awesome. I’m saying you’re not going to go over the top and make them feel weird because you see them as peers.)

If you’re trying to connect with somebody who is a “superstar” in your field don’t take up too much of their time. Better to end the conversation first than to make them antsy wanting to leave. Make the first contact briefly, and follow up again later (via e-mail/phone or maybe later in person). If they ask you to sit down and chat or ask you to lunch that’s another story. Obviously in that situation you can take up more of their time. :)

A small example: I think Leo Babauta is amazing and I’m a huge fan of his work. But I don’t treat him like he’s anything other than another guy. It makes it weird for people when you treat them differently.

Just be cool and you’ll connect with the people you’re supposed to connect with. You might not connect with everybody, but at least you won’t creep everybody out either. :)

I regularly get e-mails with statements like “I know I’m nobody and you probably won’t even read this, but …” or “I’m probably just a name on some list, but I wanted you to know …” and countless other related introductions.

You are more than just a number to me. More than just a name on a list.

That’s why this type of thing always surprises me.

Like when I mailed a postcard to 132 of you from Goa, India … many of you responded with something along the lines of “WTF! Thank you! But WTF?!” :)

It’s like showing appreciation has become the exception not the rule. If you’re the type of person who shows appreciation for others that’s a good thing. It’s easy to show appreciation and by showing appreciation it makes you the exception. It makes you stand out. You’ll be remembered. Being the exception can be a great thing.

But what I want to know is …

Why is it the exception to show appreciation?

What has happened to us? Are we too busy road raging and watching Dexter to relate to people on a human level nowadays?

Maybe it has something to do with what we discussed regarding good deeds? Maybe since so many people think “good deeds don’t count if you talk about them” people have become conditioned to not bother performing any good deeds that involve human interaction?

Originally this article was really long, dissecting this whole “I’m just a number” thing. I scrapped all of that because I learned a lot from you in the comments on the good deeds article. So I want to know what you think without tainting your ideas with my own thoughts.

Comment below or contact me here (feel free to exceed the 5 sentence e-mail rule on this one) and let me know why you think being a normal human being and showing appreciation for others has become the exception. Why do so many people feel like nameless faces, numbers, cogs in a machine? How can we fix this? Help me help us …