Category: Life

Why We Do What We Do (or How To Be Present)

Sometimes we do things that are about as useful as sticking a square peg in a round hole. We can deal with it like this…

Have you ever stopped to think why we do the things we do?

Why do we wake up at a certain time every morning?

Why do we go to bed at a certain time?

Why do we have to watch a certain TV show?

Why do we eat what we eat?

Why do we drink what we drink?

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately because of being socially unacceptable and quitting the beast.

A little while after I stopped drinking I went out to karaoke. If you’re anything like me, or most people for that matter, you can’t sing exceptionally well. :)

To get up in front of people and not sing well isn’t an easy task. So a few beers to “calm the nerves” is industry standard in these cases.

I hate the industry. And I don’t like their standards.

I didn’t fully realize how influenced I was in social situations until I couldn’t fall back on that crutch.

This particular karaoke night, because of The Iron Mind, it was a breeze. I got up on stage, did Stray Cat Strut by the Stray Cats, and it was all good. I was nervous and didn’t have any stage presence, but that’s OK.

(Remind me to post the video of me absolutely bombing on Jump by Kris Kross at karaoke in Sydney.)

A lot of our damaging actions are the result of following the crowd.

I was probably the lone participant to get on stage without liquid courage and that made me happy.

Being Present

It’s not always particularly easy to take control in these situations. But you can begin by being present. That is, be conscious of why you’re doing what you’re doing.

A trap a lot of us get caught in is sitting down to watch TV because “there’s nothing else to do.” Nothing’s on so we flip through the channels. It’s basically sleeping with our eyes open and our fingers moving. If that’s the goal, cool. But if not, why not actively decide to do something productive?

That something productive can be anything. Personally, I feel most productive when I do something that absolutely enthralls me to the core.

The very reason I canceled cable TV in 2006 was because when I felt I had nothing to do I’d sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and burn through an hour or two (or more!) without even realizing it.

When I stopped to think about it I came to the conclusion that there was absolutely nothing on TV that enriched my life in any way.

– The news is absolutely useless.

– I’d rather visit a place than watch it on Discovery Channel.

– I’d rather cook food myself than watch shows about cooking food.

I called up Brighthouse Networks, canceled my cable, and haven’t missed it since.

My wallet’s pretty happy with the extra $80/month that magically appeared. $80/month x 12 months = $960! That’s a plane ticket to almost anywhere. :)

These days I have a standing goal of writing at least 1,000 words/day. All of my articles start from these 1,000+ words.

But sometimes I just don’t feel like writing.

I’d rather watch YouTube videos or something that takes no actual brain function. Can you relate?

Not there isn’t a time and place for being unproductive (there is), but if there’s work to be done there’s work to be done!

Instead of wasting time on YouTube I actively decide to write…anything. I usually have quite a few topic ideas saved. If I don’t have any coherent thoughts on those ideas I’ll open a blank document and write about whatever comes to mind.

It usually starts horribly, but after a few minutes of painful stressing and straining the words start flowing, I start enjoying myself, 2 hours fly by and I have 1,753 words written.

The first few hundred words will probably have to be deleted, but if I didn’t have those incoherent ramblings I’d never have a finished article.

It would be a lot easier to watch YouTube than have to write useless drivel. It also wouldn’t lead to anything I could be proud of.

Even if I never release the article to the public I can be proud of the fact that I took control and did something productive.

3 Simple Steps To Take Control and Be Present:

1) Pay attention to when you’re going through the motions and why you’re going through those motions. It will take some practice to actually catch yourself going through the motions.

2) Think about if going through that motion is what you want to do. Do you have a compelling reason to do what you’re doing?

3) If you have a compelling reason keep at it. You’re on the right track. If you don’t have a compelling reason what productive activity can you do immediately that will take you away from the unproductive activity?

When you break things down to small steps it makes it easier.

Our social conditioning may influence what we do, but we can condition ourselves to do something bad ass no matter the outside forces at play.

I Spent A Night In Jail + L.A. meetup soon!

It finally happened. Locked up in a foreign land…

Last week I spent a night in an old prison. It was known as Addington Prison, and was in operation until 1999. They (people? government?) decided they didn’t want a prison within the Christchurch city limits anymore so it was shut down.

It was purchased by a couple of enterprising people in 2006, renovated, and turned into a hostel!

Although I’m not a huge fan of hostels (I’d rather CouchSurf, but it’s not practical when I’m constantly on the move in NZ), I do my best to seek out the interesting gems. I’ve mostly sought out old, historic buildings or tiny independent hostels. This is my first prison. :)

The cost for a single room was just $49NZD, which is roughly $35 USD. The biggest downside is this place is about 2.5km from the city centre.

If you’re so inclined, I made a video (didn’t edit, so it’s kinda long and boring):

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I booked my ticket to India. I’m flying Business Class (free with AAdvantage miles) from DTW (Detroit) to BOM (Mumbai). I think I’ll hang in Mumbai for a few days (or more) before I head off to Goa and learn to build guitars! :)

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L.A. area meetup Saturday Dec 12 with @ealvarezgibson and other wonderful people. You in? I’m not sure the exact location yet. I’m CouchSurfing in Santa Monica so maybe we’ll make it somewhere over there. :)

It’s strange to think I’ll be back in the US in less than a week. I fly out of Auckland at 7 pm Dec 10 and arrive in LA at 10am Dec 10. That’s what we call a mindfu…nevermind. ;)

Later on the 10th hopefully I’ll go to the Jimmy Kimmel show (if they approve my ticket request!). Also, Conan O’brien’s people? Can you please approve my ticket request for Monday Dec 14? Thanks. I have watched Conan since like 10th grade. Hook it up!

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Are you participating in Ridiculously Extraordinary Challenge #1? Quit Drinking For 30 Days

If so, let me know how it’s going after 10 days. :) I got a lot of great private e-mails (as well as lots of awesome public comments!) thanking me for the article. It feels so good that it connected with you.

Mind Control For Fun and Profit! (or How To Brainwash Yourself)

I have a secret to share with you. Click here to find out what it is…

How would you like to be able to condition someone to do anything?

I have a secret to share and I want to apologize for not telling you sooner.

I’m a long time student of mind control.

I’ve been using it selfishly for far too long and I think it’s about time I shared my top secret technique with you and the rest of the world.

Before you get any ideas…

The mind I control is my own. You too can control your mind to magically force yourself to accomplish things you previously thought impossible.

The problem with a lot of people not reaching their goals is they haven’t properly brainwashed themselves.

This isn’t just about positive thoughts and affirmations or writing down your goals.

While that stuff is all well and good it doesn’t produce results like my Mind Control Method. (Patent Pending or something.)

You should know, in advance of learning Mind Control, that failing is normal.

That said, if done right (it will take you a few tries), this has a 100% success rate.

Since a very young age I’ve had the incredible ability to achieve, acquire, or do virtually anything I’ve ever wanted. And the reason is I use the Mind Control Method.

When I was in 6th grade I used Mind Control to get a full University scholarship. (I don’t know how it is where you live, but in the U.S. Uni is very expensive.) It materialized 6 years later and I never had to pay for the Computer Science degree I didn’t use. :)

In 8th grade I used Mind Control to pay for a class trip to Chicago, Illinois.

While in University I used Mind Control to keep from ever having to get a job and to build a $100,000+ per year business at age 23.

I have many more examples, but you know I hate fluff so that’s enough of that…

How To Perform Mind Control (On Yourself!)

1) Write down what you want to happen in letter form. That is, write a letter (not a sentence; a detailed letter) to your future self explaining what already happened (even though it hasn’t happened yet). Date the letter and specify the date your goal was reached.

If you don’t know how to begin let me help start you off:

“Hey [your name],

You already know all of this by now, but some amazing things have happened in the last 6 months…”

And then start explaining what you did and how you did it even though it hasn’t been done yet. Sounds complicated. It’s not. Just do it. It’s essential to the brainwashing aspect of Mind Control Method.

“Karol, WTF, you just said writing down goals doesn’t work!”

That’s not exactly true, so please bear with me here.

2) Read the letter aloud. Seemingly insignificant, but auditory stimulation is important in Mind Control.

3) Believe. Do you believe what you just read aloud? If not, start over with Step 1. That means throw away your letter. Don’t use it as a “draft” for your new letter. Start over. Clean slate.

If you write something like “Man, it’s so cool that I won the lottery. Life is so good now.” the Mind Control Method won’t work. Why? Because there is absolutely no way you will ever truly believe you won the lottery.

Keep repeating Steps 1-3 until you have the wording so vividly clear that it feels like what is in the letter has already happened.

4) Take action. This step is where I feel like you might get caught up. But it doesn’t have to be difficult.

Begin the process of doing what your future self already knows has been done. Take it step by step as you’ve already described in the letter.

You might think this doesn’t work, but you’ve seen one of my letters already. My last Mind Control Method Letter is where Accountability Statement #1 came from. Obviously I changed it around and turned it into a blog post, but within 2 weeks of writing that I increased the readership to this blog 14-fold. And the readership keeps increasing beautifully.

The whole Mind Control Method process should take hours, not minutes. It’s not a fast process whatsoever. If you find yourself not enjoying the process it may be because what you’re writing about in your letter isn’t something you truly want.

I’ve never taught or talked about my Mind Control Method before. I always had a feeling people might think it’s dumb and wouldn’t use it. Which would be a waste of time all around.

I know you’ll use it, because you’re a Ridiculously Extraordinary Person. We don’t try. We do. We use The Iron Mind and we take action.

Go, go, go!

Jumping Into Canyons + Go Go Goa, India

Friday update: Shotover Canyon Swing, Nevis 134m High Wire Bungy, and Building Guitars in India…

Last weekend I was in Queenstown, NZ. To some it’s considered the adventure capital of the world. Sweet. I like adventure.

But Queenstown has something for everyone, adrenaline junkie or not. Luxury hotels? Check. Sweet hostels? (The Last Resort, best hostel ever.) Check. Amazing scenery? Parts of Lord of the Rings were filmed in the surrounding areas. Check. Water sports? Check. You get the point, it has everything.

My main reason for coming to New Zealand was specifically because of Queenstown. More specifically, the Nevis 134m (440ft) High Wire Bungy.

Australia was always on my list of places to visit. New Zealand wasn’t until I learned about Nevis sometime early this year.

Upon arriving in Queenstown I learned about another really fun activity. The Shotover Canyon Swing. It’s 109m (358ft) high with a 60m (197ft) drop and a top speed of 150kph (93mph).

I decided to book the Canyon Swing for Saturday since it was windy and not a particularly nice day. I wanted to do the Nevis jump on a clear sunny day, and Sunday’s forecast was perfect.

Canyon Swing Videos (yes, I was nervous, as you can tell):

Sunday I headed to Nevis. Unfortunately, I stupidly bought the DVD instead of the USB stick (wasn’t thinking, must’ve been the adrenaline) so I won’t have the video digitized until December.

Nevis was a really fun experience. I’ll leave it at that until I have video to share. ;)

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A few people have noticed that my sidebar has been updated with a slight change of plans. I had planned on going to Singapore/Thailand in January, but now I’m going to India.

Why India?

To learn how to build guitars with a luthier.

I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time. When I was in 9th grade I built a guitar that barely played and sounded like crap. I didn’t give it another shot. Until now!

India isn’t exactly known as a guitar building mecca. But that doesn’t mean it’s not full of skilled craftsmen.

And I love Indian food.

And the weather is great.

And it’s about $3k cheaper than doing the same type of course in the U.S. :)

I’ll be in Goa for a month or two.

Then, assuming I don’t fall in love with India, I’ll head to Thailand.

Been to India or Thailand? Sweet! Let me know your experiences.

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I wrote this from the most beautiful place I’ve ever been in my life. Lake Tekapo, New Zealand. Thanks to Eszter, a CouchSurfer I met in Sydney, for insisting I visit here.

Lake Tekapo New Zealand

I Love My Mom So There Is No Cursing In This Article (or Why Cursing Is Good)

I curse, you curse, we all curse. This is why it’s OK to curse in a public forum (like a blog)…

In 7th grade my friend Dave told me about a rap group that swore a lot and didn’t have a Parental Advisory sticker on their album covers. That meant you didn’t have to be 16 to buy the records (cassettes/CDs as it were). Perfect for a 12 year old. :)

(For those of you outside of the States please read about the waste of tax payer money that is the Parents Music Resource Center and the Parental Advisory sticker by clicking the blue links.)

The day Dave told me about this group, I.C.P. (Insane Clown Posse), I went out and bought their albums Carnival of Carnage and Beverly Kills 50187. :)

I was hooked for years. It felt like I joined a secret club. A club where nobody cared what you looked like, what you wore, how you spoke, or where you were from. All that mattered was that you liked Faygo and hated “the man.” This was important to angst ridden youth.

Then I.C.P. signed to a major record label and gave up on their convictions for millions of dollars. Since they were no longer independent they had no choice in the matter: every single record they released would have a Parental Advisory sticker on it. CENSORED

It didn’t make sense to me how they could rap about doing whatever they wanted and not conforming to “the man” and yet give in to “the man.”

I stopped listening to them, but their initial indie spirit lived on in my heart. (Now that I’m older I completely understand 2 high school drop outs going after mad cash instead of indie cred.)

“Hey Karol, keep it up. Make sure nobody understands or cares what you’re talking about so they don’t connect with this article.”

Why is my blog talking to me?

Whatever…

Here’s the deal: I know cursing can make a person sound uncultured and uncouth.

That said, I curse. I say For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge and Ship High In Transit and the other words often.

I never claimed to be cultured. ;)

Wait, Ship High In Transit isn’t the real origin of “that word.” I (we?) just learned something. Culture points for Karol? At least 1.

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge is a really bad Van Halen album, but it’s a sweet phrase. Culture points for Karol? 1, but subtract .5 because it’s Sammy Hagar.

“Karol, you’re doing it again.”

Right. Moving on…

I don’t use cursing as a crutch. As is demonstrated by 90% of the articles on this site, I don’t need to curse to get my point across.

Sometimes cursing grabs attention.

And in that way, cursing can be good.

Cursing can cut through a person’s “online reading haze” and get them to focus on what you have to say.

If overused, just like any other literary device, it loses its effectiveness.

Everybody curses

Every creed and every kind, everybody curses. Or they think about cursing  but censor themselves.

It’s liberating to let it happen.

Recently, I used the F-word 2 times in a row for blog titles. That wasn’t on purpose, it just happened that way.

A couple weeks ago I posted F!&k “Doing It While You Can” (or How To Make Things Happen) and I was upset with myself for days.

Censorship isn’t congruent with my personality and I censored my own self out of fear.

“My blog isn’t popular yet. Will the few people who do read, leave if I curse?”

I let that get to me. That is not the Ridiculously Extraordinary Way. I’m not “signed to a major label” like I.C.P.

I can do what I want. :)

So when it came to the articles where I did use the F-word I laid the cards on the table.

I thought to myself:

“I can live with losing every single reader I worked hard to acquire if they don’t like the real me. What I can’t deal with is pretending to be something I’m not.”

That’s all it boils down to.

I know I’m being redundant (last week’s article was about being your true self, being congruent), but I’m interested:

Are you the same person in public and in private? That is, do you censor yourself when others are paying attention?

Why or why not?

Needs vs. Wants or My Mom Thinks I’m Crazy or How To Be Congruent

If you’ve struggled with determining how to figure out what you truly need to live a Ridiculously Extraordinary Life read on…

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve bought a lot of stupid things I thought I needed over the years.

I thought I needed a BMW. So I bought one. I thought I needed a 2,500 square foot house. So I bought one. (I’m single with no children*, what did I think I needed 4 bedrooms for?!)

I didn’t see a problem writing a check for a luxury car (I may have been stupid, but at least I bought used and didn’t finance it), but I’d eat horrible, cheap, unhealthy boxed mac & cheese or WalMart pasta every day.

Gross.

Spending $3 per pound for apples or oranges seemed outrageous to me.

Do you see the disconnect?

I didn’t at the time.

Cars, big houses, things, they’re all wants.

Quality, nutritious, food is a need.

A couple years ago (the beginning of my Drastic Life Change, which I’m still trying to put down into coherent words) it finally hit me:

Wants are dictated by outside influences.

TV, friends, family, books, magazines, Web sites, and countless other inputs.

Needs are dictated by biology.

Food, water, shelter. I’ll also throw in creative pursuits and exercise because eating, drinking, and sitting in a house all day isn’t healthy. Yes, I know from experience.

Be Congruent

In other words, do what you want based on what you need.

I understand needing a car to get around. But an extravagant car won’t make you happier than a car that runs well.

BMWs are great cars, but mine provided no more happiness than my old 1989 Grand Prix I got as a hand me down from my Brother (thanks man!).

I let myself be conditioned to believe that since I was making a decent amount of money I should drive a really nice car. My personality is more low key than that.

I wasn’t being congruent.

It’s not about cheap vs expensive.

I bought a really nice Gibson SG Standard guitar a few years ago for about $1,200. I’d wanted this guitar since I started playing 15 years ago. Playing guitar isn’t just a sometimes hobby for me. If I don’t play regularly I don’t feel right. (Which means I never pass up a guitar shop while on the road!)

A quality guitar plays better and sounds better than a cheaply made guitar (usually). My happiness was legitimately improved by playing a higher quality instrument.

Buying a quality guitar was congruent to my personality and, as a result, brought me happiness day in and day out. But I’m mindful of dependency (that dirty word dependency) and sold my SG before embarking on my travels. It’s of no use to me sitting in storage.

Do you notice any of these patterns in your own life? You buy something you think you need, but after the initial elation is over you don’t feel any different?

So let’s try something different.

Instead of keeping up with the Joneses why not keep up with ourselves?

“Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to yourself.” – Henry Rollins

How To Break The Cycle

Getting out of this constant cycle of doing what we think we’re supposed to do and buying what we think we’re supposed to buy is simple.

1) Figure out what is congruent for you.

and

2) Stick to your convictions in the face of society’s pressures.

You will get unsolicited opinions and advice, but nobody can tell you what is right for you but you.

You can even disregard everything I’ve written because it’s my opinion and advice.

Challenge everything and everyone.

If you think living your life the way others choose for you is fine then who am I to tell you otherwise?

But based on the fact that you’re a Ridiculously Extraordinary Reader you probably don’t want to be like everybody else, do you? Thank you for that. :)

How To Be Congruent

Enough talk. Let’s get down to it.

If people around you know you’re serious about your convictions it helps keep them off your back.

For example, when I stopped eating animals my Mom said I was crazy. Every time I’d speak with her she’d ask if I was still being crazy. After a few months she realized it wasn’t a diet, but a lifestyle.

Diets don’t last. Lifestyle changes do. Now she doesn’t ask, she knows.

1) Be Clear About Your Convictions

When someone questions why you’re doing something, be succint and direct. This is not a time to be wishy-washy. Stake your claim and hold to it.

When people used to ask me why I ate a vegan diet I’d babble a long and unconvincingly boring string of sentences.

So I changed it to: “Out of respect for animals.”

Which I more recently updated to: “Out of respect for animals and my health.”

No room for interpretation there. 8 words. 2 seconds. They understand it’s not up for debate.

2) There Is No Step 2.

Being congruent is about being your true self, figuring out what you need, no matter what.

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* No known children anyway. BOOYA! I kid, I kid. ;) I just ruined this whole article with that, didn’t I? Ssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiitttttttttt…

How To Procrastinate Like A Bad Ass (or How To Overcome Writer’s Block)

When nothing else works: procrastinate. Here’s how I did it…

Last Wednesday in Brisbane, Australia I sat down to work in the Regus Business Lounge (free access with my Amex Platinum card) and nothing came out.

Nothing.

I can’t recall the last time I had writer’s block. Usually I can at least pump out useless drivel.

But my mind was blank and I couldn’t come up with anything.

Coming from the guy who wrote this article, it was pretty sad. :)

Most tips for curing writer’s block state to take notes, read/research your topic, and just plain force it.

I forced it, and when nothing happened it was time for a radical change.

I decided to procrastinate.

It’s what a lot of us do best, after all. :)

How I Killed Writer’s Block With Procrastination

Following is the exact series of steps that lead to a cure for my writer’s block. Can you guess what the secret cure was before I give it away at the end?

1) I missed lunch with friends because it was pouring rain and I didn’t want my laptop to get ruined.

I was already frustrated due to the writer’s block, and this just increased that frustration.

2) So I went to the Gallery of Modern Art and stared at abstract paintings for an hour.

Ahh, immediate happiness.

3) The rain died down so I walked to my CouchSurfing host’s place.

It was a 30 minute walk and it started raining again 10 minutes in. I got pretty soaked, but all I could do was laugh at that point.

4) Went to an old school guitar store to play refurbished guitars from yesteryear.

I love playing guitar and I especially love small, old school, guitar shops.

1930s uke?! Don’t mind if I do. Weird no-name guitar with a triangle neck? Yes, please.

5) Cooked dinner for a household of 5 (my CouchSurfing host’s place).

I love making dinner, especially when it’s my World Famous 4 Bean, Soy Free, Gluten Free, Vegan Chili.

6) Went to see an old Australian “horror” movie at the Gallery of Modern Art called Turkey Shoot. (Not about shooting turkeys.)

Nothing like a good laugh to make you feel amazing.

7) Hung out at a bar and tried Ginger Beer for the first time.

I don’t drink soft drinks and I’d been practicing Ocsober (no alcohol in October), but I’d never heard of Ginger Beer (it’s a non-alcoholic soft drink) so I decided to try it. (It’s really popular in Australia.)

Let me tell you, it was outstanding. I love ginger and this stuff was very gingery. (Is that a word?) I’ll probably never drink another one, but it was awesome none-the-less.

You can see I’m an outstanding procrastinator. By this time it was after 11pm.

I hadn’t touched my laptop in 12 hours!

When we got back home I decided to fire up my computer and I was “magically” inspired to write. So inspired that I wrote 2 articles (both guest posts for other blogs) within 90 minutes. My goal was only to write 1 article, but everything was flowing.

Why Did Procrastination Cure My Writer’s Block?

Sometimes, just sometimes, the best way to deal with writer’s block is to do anything but write.

The key, however, is to do things that are fun and inspiring. I love modern art, playing guitar, cooking, old horror movies, and trying new things. I jam packed all of that into my day.

How do you cure writer’s block?

Or any mental block for that matter. Please share it in the comments.

On Achieving Goals (or “Just Fucking Write”)

What’s the difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person? Shocking, but simple, answers inside…

I was talking to a friend recently about meeting deadlines and he said something that hit home:

“Just fucking write.”

No matter what your profession that same statement is relevant. Just replace “write” with whatever it is you want to do.

If you’ve ever read War of Art by Steven Pressfield or On Writing by Stephen King (both highly recommended) you know they say the same thing. Maybe with a little more tact. ;)

Sit down with a goal in place and don’t stop writing until you reach that goal.

If that means it takes you all day, so be it. If everything’s flowing and it takes 30 minutes, great. The point is to make it happen.

If you’ve always wanted to write a novel and have dragged your ass, National Novel Writing Month is coming up in November.

Leo Babauta at Write To Done has written a great blog post detailing how to get that novel written.

What do his tips boil down to?

Just fucking write.

No matter what you want to do in life you can always make an excuse not to do it.

Instead, why not make an excuse to do it?

10 years ago I remember listening to a Robert Allen audio program and he was discussing success mindset. The difference in mindset between being successful at something and being unsuccessful is subtle.

An unsuccessful person will state “I can’t achieve X.”

If we tell ourselves something is impossible it’s going to be difficult to plow past that negative statement.

A successful person, on the other hand, asks “How can I achieve X?”

See the difference?

Declare a statement and that’s that.

Reframe the statement as a question and you’ve set yourself up to create success.

Enjoy The Process

How do you keep going in the face of adversity? How do you keep going even after failure? How to know if you’re on the right path in life…

“Never try, either do it or don’t waste your time.” – Phil Anselmo

I’ve haven’t talked too much about failure and trying until you succeed before, but it’s an important topic. Look at any successful person and they’ve probably failed more than they’ve succeeded.

One of the keys to that success is consistently going after it again after failing. Successful people have learned to enjoy the process of doing.

If we don’t enjoy the process of doing something the end result won’t make it worth it. And the end result we’re expecting may never actually materialize.

Total Honesty

Before starting your quest for Ridiculously Extraordinary Success you have to be completely honest with yourself. Assuming you will succeed in whatever it is you’re striving towards, is the end result really what you’re looking for?

In Other Words, Is It All Worth It?

Sometimes we get on a path towards something and then realize it’s not really what we want. That may be hours, weeks, months, or even years into the process.

There is no sense in forcing yourself to get what you don’t want. In situations like that, it’s perfectly OK to quit.

A simple example, based on a conversation I had with someone who said they always finish every book they start: if I start reading a book and I’m not enjoying it within ~50 pages I put it down and never pick it back up. There are too many good books to read to waste my time on books I don’t enjoy.

Another example: one of my favorite comedians is Demetri Martin. In one of his comedy bits he tells the story of being in law school and then quitting to become a comic. In doing so, he gave up a future higher than average salary for an almost guaranteed life of relative poverty in an instant.

Now as a successful comic he probably makes more than he’d ever make in law. More importantly, Demetri quit something he didn’t enjoy to do something he did enjoy, no matter the outcome.

He quit something he had been working towards for many years because he realized the end result wasn’t what he wanted.

Don’t think it’s ever too late to quit something that isn’t completely you.

How To Enjoy The Process

Assuming you care about the end result, how exactly do you enjoy the process?

After all, the process may be dull. The process may be frustrating. The process may sometimes even be boring.

If you’re on the right path, you don’t need help enjoying the process.

Because if you’re on the right path, you absolutely love the process, don’t you?

The Iron Mind

Don’t read this article. The Iron is too powerful for the masses.

The title to this blog post is specifically vague to detract most people from actually reading it. It’s too powerful for the masses. The Iron Mind is for doers and action takers not for hopers and wishers.

In other words, The Iron Mind is for Ridiculously Extraordinary People.

Tangent (those are getting common, huh?): Sitting on this couch, with an oversized mug of green tea at my side and a little bit of Creedence Clearwater Revival blasting through my headphones, I have an ear-to-ear smile on my face while simply thinking about writing The Iron Mind. My hope is that it positively affects you as much as it positively affected me.

Several months ago my friend Nick IMed me with a link to an article. I was busy at the time and told him I’d try to read it later. You know, because sometimes I’m an asshole.

An hour went by, I finished what I’d been doing, and I remembered the article.

I read it and, to put it lightly, freaked out. I IMed Nick with something that boiled down to “holy shit!”

This article turned out to be one of the most life affirming pieces of non-fiction I’d ever read.

I became obsessed with it. I talked about it with anyone who would listen. I Tweeted about it regularly. I couldn’t get enough.

I read it daily, absorbing it to its very core and 6 months later I still can’t get enough.

Has anything ever made you want to scream, smile, cry, fuck, fight, and say thank you all at once?

This article does that to me.

It’s like a hit of heroin coursing through my veins. I get a little, then I want just a little more. But a little more is never enough. I fiend for it like a junkie in line at the methadone clinic. Thankfully, I can’t overdose on this drug. This drug can’t kill me. This drug can only make me stronger and wiser.

This drug is The Iron.

The Iron was written by Henry Rollins, former Black Flag vocalist, current spoken word bad ass, prolific author, actor, radio host, TV host, and documentarian. The article in question is from a 1994 Details magazine but it’s posted all over the Web. You can read it here: http://theiron.tumblr.com

In The Iron, Henry describes himself in his formative years as being a weak kid who was constantly picked on. Then a phys ed teacher took Henry under his wing and told him he was going to get whipped into shape.

Reluctantly, for fear of having to deal with his teacher’s repercussions, Henry purchased a weight set and meticulously followed his teacher’s instructions.

Working out not only sculpted Henry’s physique but sculpted his formerly weak confidence. Specifically, he gained the confidence to be himself, and to form his own thoughts and opinions instead of striving to be like one of the herd.

In the article Henry discusses The Iron in mostly literal terms as far as what working out did for him.

It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong. When the Iron doesn’t want to come off the mat, it’s the kindest thing it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it wouldn’t teach you anything. That’s the way the Iron talks to you. It tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to resemble. That which you work against will always work against you. – Henry Rollins

While I take The Iron literally when working out, I also took The Iron metaphorically, as a symbol for the road blocks I run into when striving to reach my goals.

There will always be something trying to hold you back. You can either take care of it or not. You always have a choice. The easy choice is not always the right choice. The difficult choice might be the best choice you ever make.

Lift the fucking weight off the floor or drop it. It’s all there for you to do or not do. – Henry Rollins; page 32, paragraph 2 in “Smile, You’re Traveling”

If you’re having trouble sticking to a healthy diet, use The Iron Mind.

If you respect The Iron, The Iron will teach you what you need to know and inspire you to keep going in the face of adversity.

The more you lift The Iron (literally and figuratively), the easier it will be for you to lift The Iron.

If you tell yourself you’re going to eat healthy and then go out to eat fast food, The Iron wins. But The Iron will be happy to give you a rematch. Lift it or don’t. The choice is always up to you. The Iron doesn’t judge.

The more you drop The Iron, the more difficult The Iron will be to lift. Eat fast food once, okay, everybody slips up. Eat fast food every day and the momentum of eating healthy will be all but gone.

If you’re trying to start a business and keep hitting walls and setbacks, use The Iron Mind.

Did you lose your ass on some PPC ads? What did you learn from it? Pick The Iron back up off the floor and get back at it. Do more reps, place more ads, acquire more knowledge. Or quit.

Have you launched a blog and maybe aren’t getting as many readers as you thought? (*Ahem*) Too bad. Get to work and keep at it. Or quit.

Want to travel but don’t have the money right now? Don’t tell yourself you can’t afford it, ask yourself how you can afford it. Make it happen. Or quit.

The most important thing to remember is The Iron wants you to succeed. The Iron wants to work with you, to help you, to talk you through it. If you fail The Iron, it’s because you let The Iron beat you. If you beat The Iron, it’s because you worked your ass off and proved to The Iron you deserved to win.

To this day Nick and I regularly quote pieces of The Iron to each other. It was so influential Nick named a song on the new Swellers record The Iron:

“We either do this now, or we don’t. We need to do this right now, or we won’t.” – The Iron by The Swellers

We use The Iron as motivation. As inspiration. It’s a way to let ourselves know that whatever success we want is ours for the taking. Nobody will hand us a thing and we don’t expect them to.

We can’t blame anybody for our failures except ourselves.

What’s holding you back?

Where can you use The Iron Mind to make drastic leaps forward in your own life?

Are you going to lift the fucking weight off the floor or drop it? The choice will always be yours.