Making decisions isn’t always easy, but procrastinating on making a decision is worse than making a wrong decision.
I’ll tell you where this is coming from.
After closing down registration for the Ridiculously Extraordinary Member’s Area last Friday I got a handful of e-mails asking where to sign up. Because I’m a man of my word, once registration was closed, it was closed. Maybe I closed it a few minutes early, maybe I closed it a few minutes late, but around 10:30am EST it was closed.
As I’ve said before, this isn’t about money.
The Right People Thing
It’s about, as Havi from FluentSelf.com would say, finding my Right People.
As she states in that article, just because you’re not my Right People, it doesn’t mean you’re my wrong people.
And here’s the thing: I don’t necessarily decide if you’re my Right People. You decide that on your own.
My Right People don’t have to be pushed or prodded.
You comment on this blog, you share posts with friends on twitter and facebook and elsewhere, you send me a short succinct e-mail with a question or comment (or sometimes a long e-mail thanking me for something) and you take action when there is action to be taken.
You respect my time, my views, and my information. And in return, I respect yours.
And most importantly, you respect the fact that when I say I’m going to do something, I do it. So while it would be cool to let 4 additional people into the Member’s Area, it’s just not “Right.”
It’s A Touchy Subject
It almost feels like it’s an exclusivity thing, doesn’t it? Like if you don’t fit perfectly into the puzzle we shouldn’t be friends.
It goes beyond that.
“The people who need my message in my form will get it.” – Havi Brooks
Maybe my message isn’t right for you and that’s cool. It’s OK if we don’t vibe or if you don’t want to be here. That’s the beauty of all of this.
You can choose to be a Ridiculously Extraordinary Freedom Fighter or you can choose not to be. Everything I do is a filter. Everything I write is a filter. It helps make your decision easier. You’re welcome. :)
Freedom Fighters come in all forms, but there are common traits. It’s more of a feeling, actually. It’s not something I can synthesize into words on a blog post. It’s not something you can put a finger on either.
It just is.
You Should Create Filters Too
There is no sense in spending your life attracting people who aren’t your Right People. But the only way to find your Right People is to create filters. Your favorite hobby is a filter. Your lifestyle is a filter. Your point of view is a filter. Your job, where you live, what you eat, what you don’t eat, the type of music you listen to, how you treat others … these are all filters.
How A Filter Filters
Your Right People don’t have to have the same interests as you. They don’t have to have the same hobbies. You can actually have almost nothing in common. What it boils down to is respect. Your Right People will acknowledge everything about you, whether they agree or disagree, and still support you.
More …
I’ve been meaning to write this article ever since I read about Havi’s Right People concept. It took me a while to get it out and I’ve already begun adding more filters here. There are even more on the way.
I hope, if my filters filter you away, that you find your Right People. It’s important and I want you to have your Right People.
Because if you’re not living life with your Right People you’re not living life.
YES!!!
I definitely respect people living up to their values. Good for you.
Very well said!
@Jason @Thekla @Tish Thank you! :)
Hi Karol,
Very well put! I like to respect others time and effort and I also appreciate that others value my time.
Success is 99% perspiration and 1% luck. There is no shortcut to success and one need to find the correct path in order to be successful. It is very much possible that one might not succeed the first time they have put in effort. Try in the right path and success will be at the door step.
Bye for now,
Cheryl Paris Blog
Thanks Cheryl!
The right article at the right time. Thank you Karol.
I have a habit of perhaps overly respecting other people’s filters, while allowing them to run roughshod over my own.
I tend to be all or nothing in this regard – I either let the whole world in, or I shout out *everyone*. Sometimes I bounce back and forth between the two extremes every few weeks!
I think in the end it ends up being about knowing yourself exceptionally well, and loving yourself enough to know that saying “no” to others doesn’t take away from who and what you are.
In fact, it adds to it and enhances it, as counter-intuitive as that seems to me.
Thank you again for the life lesson. I’m always happy to learn new ones. :)
~Mike
Hey Mike,
I think most of us have similar habits. I know I do/did. I’ve been actively filtering more for a few years, but I mess up too.
You’re dead on: saying no doesn’t detract from who or what you are. It enhances it because you become more confident in your ideas and your approach to life.
I’m glad this hit home. :)
Karol
It looks like I finally have a name for what I was doing for really long time, not that it was deliberate. But choosing my own path through the life put some distance between me and people not accepting that. That distance only increases through the time. And that’s good thing.
Cheers
Hey ?ukasz,
You can thank Havi for naming it. Actually, thanks for reminding me, I’m going to do that too.
If people can’t accept you then you’re right, the distance is a good thing.
Karol
I once thought that I can have everybody as my right people, but I was dead wrong. There will always be people who goes in contradiction with ours and we have to accept such fact. :-)
Thanks Walter! I’ve been at both extremes. I used to think nobody was my right people. Then I thought everybody was my right people. Now I know a small percentage are my right people and I’m thrilled with that. :)
Totally agree w/this. Running into an issue where my family isn’t my right people in any respect. That gets a bit trickier.
Hmm, it’s trickier if it’s the people in your own house. If it’s others then it’s not as difficult. You can stay away from most family for most of the year if they’re bringing you down.
You scared the crap out of me with your April Fool’s day post. I was so disappointed that I had to re-read every single detail… then I looked at the date and it clicked. Thanks for the joke.
hehe, all you had to do was click the image of my name at the bottom of the post…or read the tags ;)
I’ve been really big on the concept of finding ‘your right people’ lately. I have filtered a few old relationships that were holding me back (negative people). And I try to spend more time with the ‘right people’. It’s cool how ‘your right people’ realize that too, so you both want to spend more time around each other coincidentally.
It’s so difficult to filter out toxic relationships, but that’s so awesome that you’ve done it. Kudos. Doing that is quite possibly one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done myself.
I’ve included a link to this great post in my latest hubpages article. Thanks for all the inspiration.
http://hubpages.com/_242438lewroum/hub/Positive-Surroundings
Thanks Susan! :)
This post really rang a bell for me…
“missed it by THAT much…”
i Agree :)