Tag: life lessons

Challenge Everybody (Or How I Lost $150,000)

Who should you listen to? The story about my most expensive, and most important, life lesson…

A friend of mine once asked me if I would give him advice on his finances if he won the lottery.

My response was simple: “Don’t take financial advice from someone who has less money than you.”

Let’s say you come into $5 million. Would you then take investment advice from an adviser who earns less than $100k/year? (Most advisers earn far less than that.)

I definitely wouldn’t.

I’d trust myself more than the adviser and I hope you would too.

But I’d also trust someone who has a proven record of making a lot of money. This could be anybody. An entrepreneur, Warren Buffet, a grandmother. It doesn’t matter who it is as long as they’ve had success with large sums of money.

This concept holds true for anything in life.

If you’re a prospective basketball star would you take advice from coaches who haven’t coached future college and NBA stars?

If you’re an entrepreneur would you take business advice from people who haven’t run successful businesses?

If you want to be a world class chef would you train at a fast food restaurant?

If you want to get fit are you going to take advice from a fat person?

Bad Advice Breeds Bad Results

It seems like common sense, yet most of us, myself included, take advice from people who have no business giving advice. Usually, at least in my case, it doesn’t work out positively.

For example, years ago when the housing boom was hitting hard everybody was saying to get in now because housing prices are going to keep rising. Deep down I knew that wasn’t true. But what was happening was so crazy my thinking became unclear and I joined in on the frenzy.

It also didn’t help that I was earning more money than I knew what to do with.

So I purchased a house that is now worth ~$150,000 less than when I bought it. (I rented it out last year so I could live anywhere.)

To write that makes me sick to my stomach, but I’m not one to run away from the truth.

Who To Blame For Bad Advice

I could blame the people I was taking advice from. I could blame the President, the banks, the real estate agents, my family, and my friends.

But there is only one person to blame for that mistake.

Nobody put a gun to my head. I didn’t have to listen.

And ever since then I’ve told myself “never again.”

Challenge Everybody

These days I challenge all advice I receive.

Buying that house was an expensive lesson, but I don’t regret learning it in the absolute worst way. It is tattooed into my hippocampus. I will never forget.

Where Does Bad Advice Stem From?

Ninety-nine percent of the time (guesstimation) bad, unwelcome advice comes from three places:

– Parents

– Other Family Members

– Friends

Granted, all of these people are well intentioned.

But intention means nothing.

How you live your life should be up to you.

“I’d rather go my own way and fail miserably than go their way and make it.” – Henry Rollins

I’m not saying we shouldn’t take advice from anybody. I’m saying we need to be careful who we’re taking advice from.

Persuasive people can easily lead us astray.

People you respect can do the same.

How I’ve Overcome Taking Bad Advice

1) Accept the advice with gratitude. Most people don’t mean any harm and like to chime in whether they should or not. Accept their advice. Thank them. Then…

2) Analyze where the advice is coming from. Is the advice from someone well suited to giving you that specific piece of advice? Yes? Great, consider it. It might be very useful to you. After all, the easiest way to learn something is from someone who has already made the mistakes for you. If they can save you from making a mistake or two that is perfect.

BUT, and it’s a big CAPITALIZED BUT, if they are giving you advice based on opinion and speculation then what you should do is simple:

Forget It!

It won’t be easy. Especially if it’s a Parent, family member, or close friend. But forget it anyway. Be congruent and stick to your guns.

If you fail without their advice you will only be able to blame yourself. No ill feelings towards the well-intentioned advice givers. And if you succeed, it will be the result of your own genius.

Make a pact with yourself that you will flat out not accept advice if it’s coming from someone who shouldn’t be dishing out those specific life lessons.

Does that mean you shouldn’t take advice from me?

Yes and no.

Don’t take my advice in areas you don’t think I have the proper experience.

For example, although I always get pretty good deals on flights, I’m not the best person to ask about that. For the most part I use FareCompare.com (BTW, their CEO Rick Seaney is awesome) and what I’ve learned from Chris Guillebeau’s travel products.

But I can tell you how to travel cheaply, how to eat vegan on the road, how to live anywhere, among many other things.

Take my advice in areas I have experience. Everything I write on this blog is based on personal experience.

It’s pretty black and white.

Do you have examples of situations where you took advice from the wrong person and it worked out unfavorably?

Do you have examples of situations where you took advice from the right person and it worked out favorably?

Or do you have examples of situations that contradict everything I’ve stated?

Leave it in the comments. I’m incredibly interested.

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P.S. I just realized the photo to this article makes no sense. Originally it was called “Who To Listen To” but I changed it at the last minute and forgot to change the photo! haha ;)

101 Lessons Learned After 29 Years Of Living Life

101 truths I’ve learned in the past 29 years…

When I was young I wanted to live to 100. To my mind it might as well have been infinity. (I thought China was a different planet when I was 4 so maybe 100 was infinity.)

Then I got older and I didn’t want to live to anything.

Now I want to live to 100 again. As you know, I like the number 100. Actually, I’d like to live to infinity. (Wait, is China a different planet? What’s happening here? … help?)

Anyway, 29 is still very young, and I don’t claim to know it all. What I do know is what I know, you know? ;)

Much like Finding Your Right People I’ve had this post ready for a long time. I was a little bit afraid to post it, but it may be The Ultimate Filter (like The Ultimate Warrior with less color and no steroids). Maybe tomorrow I start with a blank slate.

Probably not.

I expected a lot of RSS unsubscribes after posting Finding Your Right People. Instead, my subscriber count increased by 83. For a regular traffic day that is incredible (for this site). Thank you for hangin’ out in my backyard.

This list was originally 99. Then I edited some out. Then I added some. Then I edited some out. Truth be told I think I could easily hit 1,000. But right now it’s 101. A nice, easy number we’ll also call Infinity + 1.

Infinity + 1 Lessons Karol Has Learned In 29 Years:

  1. Friends really do come and go. Some come back. Some don’t. That’s OK.
  2. Nobody cares about you as much as they care about themselves.
  3. Animals kill to survive. Humans kill for “fun” (also know as a psychopath) or because they’re ignorant of torture (I know I used to be).
  4. It’s OK to be different.
  5. Most people won’t agree with you.
  6. The people who really care will still care whether they agree with you or not.
  7. You don’t need anybody’s support to make things happen.
  8. Arguments are pointless. You can’t change anyone, don’t try.
  9. People will rationalize and justify anything and everything to be “right.” Let them.
  10. It’s easier to take a small action now instead of a big action “some day.”
  11. Some day never comes.
  12. If the music you listen to is on the radio or TV it’s pop music. Pop = popular. It doesn’t matter if there’s screaming or singing, loud guitars or soft piano, it’s pop music. I love pop music. I love unpopular music as well. ;)
  13. You’re not as different as you think.
  14. You can have anything you want.
  15. You never have to settle. Not in a relationship, not in a job, not ever.
  16. Somebody will always tell you your ideas suck. Take action anyway.
  17. You might think you’re not good enough, but you’ll surprise yourself when you try.
  18. Smoking is gross. Kissing a smoker is grosser.
  19. You don’t have to be promiscuous because you’re a male and you don’t have to be celibate because you’re a female. Do what you want.
  20. Don’t let the school system brainwash you into being average. They will try. Every step of the way.
  21. Society wants you to be average as well, but you can be exceptional if you’d like. It’s your choice.
  22. You will make mistakes. So what?
  23. It’s OK to feel sad.
  24. There is nothing wrong with you.
  25. Successful people read books.
  26. Passion can go a long way.
  27. Don’t kill yourself. It’s never worth it.
  28. Get tested.
  29. If you think you can do something you’re right. If you think you can’t do something you’re also right.
  30. The refrigerator light doesn’t always stay on.
  31. Whether you hear it or not, a falling tree always makes a sound.
  32. Money is not the root of all evil.
  33. Love of money is not the root of all evil either.
  34. You don’t need as much money as you think.
  35. Nobody cares what kind of car you drive. If they do, they’re not worth your time. (Also, replace car with: the kinds of clothes you wear.)
  36. Don’t be a pushover.
  37. Memories are priceless. Write them down daily. Even if they seem trivial.
  38. Nothing is trivial.
  39. Ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, you won’t receive.
  40. Don’t make the same mistake twice. If you do, don’t make it a third time.
  41. There will always be somebody more “successful” than you.
  42. Define your own rules for success. It’s a lot easier to rule your world than someone else’s world.
  43. Humans are the only mammals that drink milk after they’ve grown. They’re also the only mammals that drink another mammal’s milk.
  44. If you don’t feel good you probably don’t need a doctor. It’s your diet.
  45. Even if an apple a day doesn’t keep the doctor away it sure tastes good.
  46. Doctors aren’t all bad, but many will write you any prescription you ask for if you know how to ask.
  47. The fact that gay marriage is not recognized is an abomination. If you support Freedom, you support gay marriage.
  48. Religion causes a lot of problems.
  49. Telling someone they’re wrong never leads to anything positive. Even if they’re wrong.
  50. You’ll never be good enough if you don’t define great.
  51. Being dependent on TV shows or sports teams is for children and teenagers.
  52. You don’t need more than 3 pairs of shoes. 1 athletic, 1 dress, and 1 casual. Even that might be overkill.
  53. If you wear the same pants every day nobody will notice.
  54. Write down your dreams/nightmares for 30 days every morning immediately upon waking up. Some trippy stuff will start happening.
  55. It is scientifically proven that if you eat meat you’re not an environmentalist. Don’t pretend to care about the environment. Care or don’t care.
  56. Whether global warming is real or made up, is it really so difficult to throw a cigarette butt in a trash can instead of the street? (Replace the following with cigarette butt: gum, paper, bottles, anything.)
  57. If you say you love animals and you kill them for dinner (physically or by shopping at the deli counter) there is a blatant disconnect.
  58. Just because somebody tells you something is true, doesn’t mean it is. Do your own research.
  59. Jealousy is mankind’s most useless emotion. Instead of feeling jealous, feel happy.
  60. Happiness is mankind’s most useful emotion.
  61. If you help people get what they want, you will “miraculously” get what you want.
  62. It’s OK to be a follower. It’s better to be a thought leader.
  63. It’s OK if you don’t like something. Just don’t pretend that you do.
  64. There are exceptions to every rule. That doesn’t make the rule invalid.
  65. You can’t break rules if you don’t learn them first.
  66. If somebody tells you they want the best for you what they mean is they want you to do what they say and follow the rules.
  67. You should play on a swing set at least once every year. It is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
  68. Don’t blame anybody for your problems. They’re yours. The sooner you establish this the sooner you can work on them.
  69. If you can’t sing, sing anyway. Especially at karaoke.
  70. Just because a billion people do something doesn’t mean it’s right.
  71. If you eat moldy bread you might feel like shit. Pun not intended. :)
  72. Don’t wish, do. “I wish I could…” is a waste of thought energy.
  73. Some people say you should do something every day that scares you. That’s a lofty goal, but even if you do something every week that scares you you’ll come out ahead.
  74. Do what scares you.
  75. If you think something is a bad idea, it might mean you should do it. Or it might mean it’s actually a bad idea.
  76. Stop watching so much TV.
  77. It really is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Try it next time.
  78. It’s OK if you don’t want to travel the world. There are lots of things to explore in your own backyard.
  79. Don’t listen to anybody who tells you “you’re missing out” by not going somewhere or doing something. You’re only missing out if you believe you’re missing out.
  80. Don’t think of cost. Think of value.
  81. If something is expensive that doesn’t mean it’s worth it. If something is cheap that doesn’t mean it’s not. Usually, neither of those options are ideal.
  82. Maybe you can’t have it all. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
  83. You can change the world because you define your world.
  84. Jakfruit is hard to find, but so very worth it.
  85. Give away something you love. You’ll learn a) detachment and b) it feels great.
  86. Do activities by yourself. Solo Social Activities (movies, dinner, concerts, travel) can be a lot of fun.
  87. Stop depending on other people.
  88. It’s OK to complain sometimes. Don’t make it a habit.
  89. Do what you love even if you don’t get paid for it.
  90. Stop texting or checking your phone when you’re with other people. It’s rude and it’s sad.
  91. Drink more water.
  92. Show gratitude.
  93. Make more mistakes.
  94. There is no such thing as luck. No good luck. No bad luck. You either make good things happen or you make bad things happen. Nothing more, nothing less.
  95. The secret to winning is playing. Often. (This advice does not hold for games of chance.)
  96. Everybody lies. Trust people anyway.
  97. If you dwell on past mistakes you will get depressed. Dwell or don’t dwell, but know the outcome.
  98. There is always more you can do. But that doesn’t mean there is always more you should do.
  99. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to yourself.
  100. Low calorie does not mean healthy. Stop fooling yourself.
  101. Seek danger.